Monthly Archives: May 2016

Being a parent…. on simple lesson to be a better one.

Definition of Adolescence. “The 24 hour a day, 7 day a week, 365 day battle to not be embarrassed” – and “Any kid would rather be perceived as bad, then dumb”

Why does that mean anything?   As a parent you do millions of things that have an effect on your children.  But often you don’t see the motivation behind some of the behavior.   And this one is key.  Sometimes the acting out etc, is not because they are bad, it’s because of a perception.  If they perceived to be dumb, they are thrown into a “group” which it is hard to get out of.  Being “Bad” is a group that is good to be in for an adolescence.    So when you have kids, this is something to keep an eye out for, but it does also happen as adults.  If you see the behavior in your child, make sure you don’t have the halo effect and think they are smart.  Look at what they can or can’t do, and the best think you can do is get them the help so they learn what they need to learn.   The stupid label on them, is tough to shake, but catching it as acting bad, and then getting them help will stop the bad behavior and fix the root cause.

What does that have to do with being a better person?   It is often we need to dig deeper into the cause of the behavior not just the behavior.  If people around you are acting in a way that seems off, you can either say “they are just bad”  But they may be ignorant and hiding it, thus causing a problem that shouldn’t be.   You being the better person, has to rise above the pettiness and not get into the shouting match, the argument and the name calling.  You must take a step back, and find an alternative to figuring it all out.

My world famous disclaimer…  so, this blog has nothing to do about my current employer.  I provide the information without warranty blah blah blah. I make no money from this blog, there is no advertising, or charges to anyone.  I do this as a brain dump, to leave something behind.  If you want to support me, instead of doing that support one of the charities i care about, the Morgan Stanley Children’s Hospital and Hockey in Newark.  Thanks for reading.

Feels like a month….

Since I last posted, and yes it was 21 days.  21 Busy days, and the last post was that I do not post once a day, or even once a week.   This site is 100% about making someone a better person, and what i think helps, and drives success.  Now on thing about success is often getting motivated.   Well, there was an article I thought i would share, with 50 quick thoughts to get you going.

http://www.businessinsider.com/50-thoughts-that-can-motivate-you-to-do-anything-2016-5?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=referral

What does this have to do with being a better person.  I often write sayings on my white board, and anyone who walks in my office, I ask them to read it and opine.  Motivating others are key, I may use a few of these, and a host of others.  But I would dedicate the top 1/8th of your whiteboard to actually having saying on it.  For me one corner I put the vision of my team,  I repeat the vision often. Its key!  The other corner is a saying.   To make people think and motivate.  So take some of these 50’s and post them in your office.

 

You are supposed to post weekly for a blog….

But, this is technically not a blog, but just more a brain dump.  And if I don’t have anything well formed to right, I am not going to just post anything random.

But, while I was not writing here my life was happening.  Yes as stated I have a full time job, and not only that I have a wife and kids.  It’s not that I didn’t have time to smell the roses, or that I couldn’t make say 1-2hrs to write something up.  I actually would relate it more to an earlier post.   Writing here is not an urgent thing, It is important to me to write here, and it is therapeutic, relaxing, entertaining, and I hope for the few reading it educational.    I have spoken before about how to choose what to do with your time, and in this case I chose to to other things that fit in the right quadrant.

So I have been working on my other site, http://fit.lrau.com I have been getting myself into shape, dealing with may family things (a funeral, a holiday, kids activities) and working hard at my first job (the one that pays me so I can pay for hosting domain etc.  So why right anything at all?  Well because, the whole part of condom sense was to let people know, yes not only to I believe these things, but I follow them.  I used my chart, and made calls and decisions of what to do with my time, and what not to.  I think often about what to write, but if I don’t think it would add value or a I do not believe it and wouldnt follow it, I am not just going to write to say something.   When you read something here, I should be not only preaching it, but doing it.

So I may not post daily, weekly or even monthly, but that should be something that adds value, and you would want to read.  So let this article also let you know, that even spending time on the web reading useful or useless articles, you should be saying “Is this the best value of my time”