Month: October 2023

You are healthy and fit, so you decide to have a cheat day.  That one day doesn’t hurt you and you are fine.  But then the next day you cheat again on your diet.  No big deal you will get back to it on Monday.  Six months later you find yourself completely out of shape.  You are wondering how that happened, what was the moment you went from fit to fat.  What was the day that you went over the cliff from being that fit to that fat person.  

I woke up one day and thought why I can’t fit into my skinny jeans and tried to pinpoint the day I got fat.  The problem was, there was not a ‘moment’ it was a six-to-eight-month small with hundreds of breakdowns that cumulated into a failure.  Now of course, I had to change course and get myself back into shape, but it made me start thinking about the cliff moment. In most cases there is no understanding of anything is wrong until it’s a bit too late.   

My day job is in technology (regular readers know that) and there are occasional outages or problems.  I am sure most people have been hit by an outage of either their cell phone, a software service or even their internet and wonder what went wrong.  Inside companies there is a range of reactions. The notion of finding the root cause and fixing it to restore service is the goal. Once service is restored then becomes the understanding of finding not just what went wrong, but why?  

Obviously, no one wants to admit that they made the mistake, but you will get called out if you were at fault. Let us assume that people do admit their mistakes and place in the analysis, what I have seen in thirty-five plus years of being in technology the answer is made simplistic. The goal is to obviously make it easy to display and then come up with a solution.  

Looking at most of the issues I encountered and now comparing it with weight loss, very few can be explained simply. most of them are a series of decisions and issues that lead to the failure. How do you tell someone that everything from hiring practice, location strategy, budget, architecture decisions, technology decision, time to marked pressure, poor communication, people not reading emails, lack of testing and more can lead to failure. These things are not easily repairable, so they are often ignored.  

The challenge in both personal and business situations is being able to figure out how to change. I am challenging myself to start looking at issues this way, and instead of blaming one thing look at everything that led up to the breaking point. If you don’t make your bed one day, a few weeks later your whole room is a mess, if the light on your car goes on, a few weeks later it dies, if you stop learning, years later the person next to you is smarter.  

How to we stop these failures? How do we make good decisions so that they do not add up to failure? I am going to dig into that next week, this week I think spending the time understanding how to see problems coming needs to be digested.

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain, I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket, my intention is to keep it free.  I do read all feedback, I mostly wont post any of them.

This Blog is a labor of love, and was originally going to be a book.  With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web I chose this path.  I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content.  I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip.  I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog.   AI is not used in this writing other than using the web to find information.Images without notes are created using and AI tool that allows me to reuse them. 

First, this may be a post that will upset people. There is a larger problem going on in the Middle East, people are dying. It is someone’s parent, child, brother, sister, and friend that are paying a sad price. In no means do I want to lower the importance on the loss of innocent life, as I do not have a clue on how to help the situation. There are a series of good charities to help pick one I have. If you are living in a bubble reading this years later, on October 7th, 2023, Hamas engaged in terrorist attacks on Israel. Even saying that statement I know some people will immediately disagree. 

And that is what happened in some of the so called ‘Top’ Colleges in the US. Harvard, University of Pennsylvania, Columbia and others a series of events happened. At Harvard one student group authored a letter which has caused a lot of outrage. Companies rescinded job offers of students who signed it, donors have threatened the schools and even a previous president of Harvard spoke up against it. UofP is facing loss of donors and backlash for its festival that has speakers who are known antisemites. And there are widespread issues across campuses. While many see this as a disaster, to me the real problem is what the schools do not see as their mission. 

Schools exist to educate. Hopefully, their goal is to create well rounded adults who understand freedom and respect everyone. In the U.S. we have the freedom to speak. That implies is your enemy, the person you despise and has the opposite view of you has the right to speak. Freedom does come with both responsibility and limitations. Limitations include not being able to defame someone and not inciting violence. You are also responsible for your words and the possible actions and reactions that might happen. The worst is being cancelled. 

These institutions need to step up. Instead burying their heads in the sand and hiding and getting the students and even the public into the classroom. Use this as a teaching moment so that it is ok to raise issues of what is happening and ask for help, but the killing of innocent people is not the answer. Condoning the killing and blaming someone else for the actions is not. Instead of teaching people how to express themselves and get heard and promote change versus the ugliness that school campuses have turned into.  

In situations like this where anyone is suffering and the children of people you know are on the front line it is hard to be objective. I have said before you should not be responsible for your first thought, but you should be for your second. Schools need to use this as a teaching moment. The schools that do that are following their mission of education, otherwise they are just reacting. Doing nothing is doing something. Silence is an action… 

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain, I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket, my intention is to keep it free.  I do read all feedback, I mostly wont post any of them.

This Blog is a labor of love, and was originally going to be a book.  With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web I chose this path.  I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content.  I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip.  I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog.   AI is not used in this writing other than using the web to find information.Images without notes are created using and AI tool that allows me to reuse them. 

One of the things I was told when I was a child was that if someone picks on you, they are afraid of you or jealous. Years later, it was to make them look bigger or more important, they themselves are struggling or even they want to be part of the “in crowd” by picking on someone they may are ones not picked on. I had to take this all-in stride and move forward. I was told when you get older these kids would grow out of this behavior.  

Fast forward and I am working at a bank in the 90s and what I saw was most of the same thing. In fact, I found myself almost surrounded by it. It was much different than childhood, instead it was done without the person around. People would put others down or complain about them. I did not recognize it back then, but now I see it. It was behavior that was no better than high school behavior.  

What is worse though the behaviors are commonplace and played out either in news media or social media. Instead of understanding what is going on, people are very quick to immediately find some way to put anyone or even any group down in hopes of making them appear ‘right.’ This is like the bully putting someone down to make himself feel more important or be part of the crowd. Most people do not recognize it that way, but if it is the ‘group’ we belong to we believe it, if it pointed toward us, we often respond with anger.  

Originally this was limited to a few elite media being one sided. The use of the excuse that the show was entertainment not news was the excuse. But with the growth of social media, it started to carry to individuals. One thing I noticed is that the first mover advantage combined with confirmation bias turns the initial statement into widespread belief. I have yet to see anyone not only apologize and retract this first reaction, but for the truth to be agreed upon. No one is immune to this, even me. I can guarantee there are multiple instances where if you look back on something you heard was true, wanted to be true and still believe it but it is false.  

First, I do not have a solution for this, but this week I was thinking about this in something that should not have a side. The weight loss drug semagultide has seem to be a miracle drug. For those on it there have been minimal side effects but helping them lose weight. First no I am not taking it, nor do I have an investment in it. What I saw this week was an article about the potential impact on food purchases and the companies who sell food.  One snack company went as far as to say that they were not going to stand still and go after it. The CEO says he will do whatever it takes so people continue to eat the unhealthy snacks they sell. I take this as he is going to create an information campaign to drive opinions of people that these weight loss drugs are not good for you. 

If a snack company is willing to do this then what is to say anything we hear from any company, any news agency etc. is not rooted in the same desire to change people’s minds. I did state I do not have a solution but now I need to read everything with the notion of who wrote it, and what is the goal behind writing it. I wrote recently that I need not judge myself on my initial thought, but my second thought is I now need to apply this to information that comes out. I should not believe the first report ‘reason’ (the base fact is ok but the reason not) and wait a few days to see if the reason or why something happened. I also need to look at who is repeating the initial information to see if they are smart enough to dig and get answers. My initial reaction can be what it is, but I need to start to think and make sure my second thought is based on quality information not a bully trying to make themselves feel more important. 

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain, I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket, my intention is to keep it free.  I do read all feedback, I mostly wont post any of them.

This Blog is a labor of love, and was originally going to be a book.  With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web I chose this path.  I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content.  I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip.  I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog.   AI is not used in this writing other than using the web to find information.Images without notes are created using and AI tool that allows me to reuse them. 

I struggle to be successful in everything I do, and I want to dig deep into the why so I can understand how to keep my team, family and friends motivated. Whether it is cutting my lawn, work, being a parent, losing weight or even writing this blog there are times were getting motivated to be perfect. Previously I have written that perfection is the enemy of good, and yes, I need to remind myself, but it is more than that. Sometimes during the journey, I get demotivated and not only do not do my best, but often not even good.  

Currently I am on several journeys including one to drop weight again. After having several mental challenges which pushed me to eat more, and then several health challenges that prevented me from working out and eating more, I found myself in a shape I did not like. I had to almost demand myself to build a strict diet and even further keep myself to it.  

One of the things I started doing was weigh myself every day and keep it going good and bad. Yes, I forgot a few days (tired etc.) but that does not bother me. In the beginning of any diet, you lose weight fast. If you look at all ‘pop’ diets they push to have do a lot in the first two weeks to get the motivation going. Realistically the best way is slow and steady versus giant drops. I set my goal and started tracking. The days I lost I got this dopamine hit, but there were days that I know I hit my calorie differential that I was either flat or even up and I gained weight. I had to fight through those days to keep at it. In fact, those days where I was sure I would be down and gained were hard days. 

I did give myself short term goal and once hit that pushed that goal further. The goals I set were very intrinsic. I chose not to set up extrinsic rewards and it has taken me a while to figure out why. You can google what they type of rewards are, but the thought of not going for extrinsic rewards as I felt if I did that it has being continuously diminished, and they no longer work. By using intrinsic reward, I value that success at such a higher level than buying myself a gift for hitting the goal.  

So why are extrinsic rewards so diminished? If every time you hit a goal, you are rewarding yourself i find a few things happen. First the reward must grow, if it’s not better than what you just gave yourself why would I push, I already got a reward. It is not possible to continuously escalate rewards possibility. Also not hitting the goal in the period can feel like I am punishing myself. This can demotivate me quickly. I get lazy as I can pick easy goals and get them as a reward myself thus reducing the value of the reward even more. Guess what, studies show the same thing. 

Take for example participation rewards. If these are given often at some point the people participating are there for that extrinsic reward. There is no longer the journey is important but this notion of the reward at the end. If the reward disappears, participation will also. This is not to say all participation rewards should go away, but the notion of how and when to give them should be well thought out. Allowing someone to find intrinsic rewards encourages longer term participation.  

One other example of extrinsic rewards gone wrong, at a previous company (and many others) I was working one thing that was done at key milestones we got a gift. A Lucite that had the release and date info on it. The first time it was done people thought it was cool. But it got to a point it became a participation reward as that other groups were demotivated who did not get one. Not all projects have key milestones etc. This spiraled into what was more of a competition to see who had more Lucites on their desk. Thank God that there was a market downturn and cost cutting and one thing that went away was to remove this.  

Yes, I know extrinsic rewards can be important also. For me, the extrinsic rewards are ones that are not self-given. For weight loss it is others noticing (without prompting) it is fitting into an outfit that did not fit both are non-self-created extrinsic goals. A Lucite for an achievement that was exceptionally large also can be well received. In fact, the drive for something that takes a lot of effort, well beyond a day-to-day job, is what should be recognized. The downside again is making sure that people all understand it is something that really is beyond as it can demotivate others who also put in extra effort.  

What else demotivates me? Instant rewards that require little or no effort. Take for example scrolling through TikTok, Instagram or other short social media. These quick cool things give my brain a dopamine hit (reward.) If I do not give myself a break from these, what happens is that again my brain struggles with other rewards. Yes, there are wonderful things on social media like food prep meals, new workouts, cool science fact etc. that are wonderful. Just like other rewards though they diminish, the next one must be so much better, and it relates to other goals I am trying, like weight loss and work.  

Ok this sounds too much to take in to hit some goals. Yes, it is, it is why I struggle. I do have too many goals, yet I need them. I need to set goals at work and personal goals. I need to ensure I have my own intrinsic rewards to hit them and let others who pick the extrinsic rewards do what they think works. I need to look at those extrinsic rewards as just external to me. If you are wondering where I am on my weight loss journey, in two and 1/2 months I am down 23 pounds which is a little off my target but still good. I am on my second goal after hitting my first one and looking forward to hitting a reach goal at some point. I have not rewarded myself yet for any weight loss, and I’m not sure I will. At work there are few stretch goals I wanted but have not gotten them and need to push myself as there is only one quarter left to hit them.  

As for you, I ask you to look at what motivates you and figure out if the extrinsic rewards have lost value and what rewards you need to reach the goals you set for yourself. 

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain, I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket, my intention is to keep it free.  I do read all feedback, I mostly wont post any of them.

This Blog is a labor of love, and was originally going to be a book.  With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web I chose this path.  I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content.  I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip.  I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog.   AI is not used in this writing other than using the web to find information.Images without notes are created using and AI tool that allows me to reuse them.