Month: April 2024

I happen to have a thousand square foot gym in my basement. First, I do know it is a luxury, and I have spent twenty-two years building it. Every year at the end of the year, I would buy something to add to the gym to keep my motivation up for the following year.  But the building of the gym is not as important as a lesson that one of the pieces of equipment has taught me.  

I want to put a disclaimer here, that I am not endorsing this piece of equipment, I do not have stock in the company and right now the company is going bankrupt. I own a Bowflex Extreme SE (with an additional set of 50-pound rods.)  Gym Rats will complain it is not free weights etc. I do have seven hundred pounds of Olympic weights, barbells benches etc. But back to the Blowflex.  

It has these rods that bend to increase load during an exercise. The further the rod bends the more load is added. It is an interesting design not using the universal stacking of weights. But there are some issues. The Rods are not accurate in the weights they have on them. For example, if you do a bench press with the Bowflex at two hundred pounds, if you move to free weights, you will not be able to do two hundred pounds. I am not sure why they did not try to measure the actual weight or make it accurate.  

Second, the rods need to be maintained or treated properly. After each workout I must warp them up with chords, so they are straight up. If you leave them under tension they will not push back with the same force after a while. And every so often you need to take the Bowflex apart and spin the rods around to keep them in the best shape (not bending the same way all the time. With free weights, I can leave them on the ground, on the Bar, I can leave the Bar on the bench etc. I really do not have to think about it. Yes, it is my gym, I do not need to return them to the right spot. There is much less thought about it. And yes, I have on occasion forgotten to do it. 

The tradeoff does not hinder my ability to get a good workout. When I got my Tesla, I spent considerable time reading what others said about it. I learned that while EVs have a lot of plusses there are still some limitations. First the range is not as accurate as advertised (hmm sounds familiar about the rods) and that some precautions are needed to keep the battery lasting longer (sounds like the rods again.) Things like, do not charge the battery regularly over 80%, do not let the battery go below 20% and if possible, keep the car in a garage.  There are other limitations, or for me differences but I am not going to focus on those. 

The rules to keep the battery related to my Bowflex rods perfectly. I did not make the correlation to after my purchase, buy while making the purchase I questions can I manage them. I made the decision that I could, both my kids have internal combustion engine cars, I can use them if needed, I had a garage, 99% of my driving is local thus I can keep the battery between 80/20. Just like when purchasing the Bowflex, the benefits outweigh the limitations. For the Bowflex I enjoy working out by myself, it allows me to do a lot of exercises without taking up a lot of space, as well as no need for a spotter. I can live with the numbers being inaccurate, and the need to maintain it properly.  I have owned it for 15+ years and it is in great shape still.  

As advertisers bombard us with positive reivews of everything they sell, and media (social and regular) rant how awful something is, we must find the truth, and evaluate what is a true limitation.  Nothing is perfect, and our unconscious bias cannot make it that way. Negative rants may have some truth, but they may be edge cases that do not apply to you, or things you have and alternative.  Understanding what we are willing to live with to reap the benefits is an individual decision. I cannot say if the Bowflex, Tesla or your partner is the right pick for you, but what I can do is learn to understand how to weigh pros and cons to make decisions and understand there is nothing that does not have limitations, it is figuring out how to live with them.  

Disclaimer 

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain; I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket, my intention is to keep it free. I do read all feedback; but it is moderated.

This Blog is a labor of love and was originally going to be a book. With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web I chose this path.  I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content. I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip. I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog. AI is not used in this writing other than using the web to find information. Images for this are my actual gym, taken by yours truly.

The other night was technically the last night I plan to celebrate my birthday with a ‘Birthday Dinner.’ If you want to know, my birthday is in Early March, and I started celebrating it the night before with dinner in Red Bank. Split a giant tomahawk steak for two, and then continued for most of the month. Three trips to Nola’s in Garwood and Sally’s in New Haven for Pizza, 99 Favor Taste and Gyu Kaku for BBQ/Hot pot, Pine Tavern for some steak, and Beckets in NY, Chegg in LBI for wings. I might have missed a few more, I am sure I have. 

Yeah, I enjoyed going out with friends and family. I know in years past I would celebrate a few times and let move on. This year seems different where I almost wanted to find celebrations. Of all the things I have discovered about myself in the past few years writing this, is that I do have a zest for life. Thought throughout my life there have been obstacles the lessons from my parents that they were temporary hurdles or minor inconveniences. I struggled to understand they would always end. 

I have been given the advice that others have problems, often more challenging than yours, and that people would die to have my issues. Just this past weekend while hanging out with a DJ friend of mine who said every time you are frustrated, remember you can play piano and guitar, that are thousands like me that cannot play either. These reminders are why I spent a lot of time celebrating my life. Yes, I might not have some things that are important to me, but I spent time with people who remind me, I have more than others. 

The question really should be is why am I stopping celebrating my birthday? The answer is a bit more optimistic; it is that I want to celebrate life instead. In thirty years, I would love to have the health and youth that I have now. I did spend the last year getting myself in shape, though the latest injury is a struggle, but I need to realize that I need to look to see how far I have come.  

This is starting to sound close to a post I made previously about when climbing a mountain you need to occasionally look down. It is a derivative. That was looking more at a specific task, that if the task takes a long time to accomplish, you need to make sure you see how far you came versus only looking on how far you must go. This states your life is the mountain, and only looking down once a year is not enough. In many cases people talk about how you ‘survived’ another year. I do not want to be one who was told they survived a year; I want to be one who as my kids say ‘slayed,’ the past year.  

Each day may have a challenge, and some challenges pile up, but all of them are just that, something that I know I can get through. I may need help from family, friends, coworkers etc. And spending time with them, dinner, show, just hanging out celebrates our ability to get through the latest hurdle. My current hurdle is an elbow injury, and I did go for help. I doubt I will take out my Physical Therapist out, but my daughter helped me do a few things, my friends helped me with others. The key is do not waste time being frustrated, the problems will be there, and if you get one, another one will show up. Just like any other milestone, celebrate getting past it. My birthday celebration each year will be about how I crushed it.  

Disclaimer 

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain; I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket, my intention is to keep it free.  I do read all feedback; but it is moderated.

This Blog is a labor of love and was originally going to be a book.  With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web I chose this path.  I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content.  I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip.  I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog.   AI is not used in this writing other than using the web to find information. Images without notes are created using an AI tool that allows me to reuse them. I double checked with ZeroGPT, this was not written by AI

I made the mistake of saying this to my children, and of course they made one. Fortunately, this mistake is a small fender bender or easy to hit the undo button. In a conversation with a young coworker, I said it, and she looked a bit befuddled, as everyone tells her that and she has no idea what it means.

To better understand this notion of making mistakes while young, let us first explore what we mean by “making a mistake.” In life, you are going to make some adult-level decisions, things like whether to go to college, what college to attend, and what major to choose. At 18 and sometimes 17, these are very adult choices that can determine a lot of the outcome of your life. The interesting thing about many of these is that they are easily changed.

Transferring colleges is not too difficult. If you picked the wrong school, it may bother you or upset you, but it is easy to leave at the end of the semester, take time off, or find a different school. At the end of the day, when someone looks at your resume, they are looking that you got a degree, not how many schools it took you to obtain it. Both of my kids transferred, and one happened to transfer multiple times.

And the decisions do not stop with college. Even after taking your first job, it is not a life sentence. Larger companies have opportunities to transfer, or you have the option of finding a new job. I understand not everyone has the same options, as some may be locationally challenged or face other obstacles in finding a new job.

Now, when I use the term “young,” I am not necessarily referring to chronological age. In many cultures, age determines adulthood, such as at 13 in the Jewish culture or 17 for a driver’s license, 18 for voting, and 21 for drinking alcohol. In Japan turning twenty is known as “Seijin no Hi” or coming of age day, were they dress in traditional attire and attend ceremonies. And the last example is the Amish who at 16 you are seen as transitioning to adulthood, they go through a period called Rumspringa where they can start to explore the outside world.

What I mean by “young” is that you have options open due to the lack of other dependents. Once you have a significant other and/or a family, the decisions are no longer about you. This is a time when it is important for you to have conversations with someone else. I was fortunate to have two of these with my late wife. The first was her changing careers where we set up a plan for her to go back to school and become a teacher. The second was when I was offered a job in NY City, which would reduce the time and flexibility of being closer.

In the end, the key is to remember that the freedom to make mistakes when you are young is not a license to be reckless, but more permission to explore and find your path. Make the choice knowing that you can change your mind or change direction without beating yourself up about it. This should give you the freedom to make decisions without second-guessing. There is a difference between being reckless and freedom, knowing the difference is for another lesson.

Disclaimer 

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain; I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket, my intention is to keep it free.  I do read all feedback; but it is moderated.  

This Blog is a labor of love and was originally going to be a book.  With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web I chose this path.  I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content.  I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip.  I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog.   AI is not used in this writing other than using the web to find information. Images without notes are created using an AI tool that allows me to reuse them.