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Happy Father’s Day. I texted this today to friends and family, I of course could not say it to my dad. Sadly, we lost him a few days before Father’s Day last year. I spent some time reflecting on what it means to be a dad, what it means to be a father and how fortunate many people are, including me.  

I wrote once about making mistakes when you are young is a good thing, but as an adult and as a parent your mistakes are multiplied. I had a discussion with my dad about a decision he made before he passed. He was struggling with wondering if he made the right decision about something. That decision was made thirty plus years ago, and it was still on his mind. I asked him if he thought he made the right choice, he said he did.  

We make hundreds of choices every day, from when to get out of bed, what to do first, to the choice of clothes we wear to what we eat. There are people who go out of their way to make fewer decisions in their daily lives, Steve Jobs was famous for wearing the same outfit every day. He got the idea while visiting in Japan and saw workers wearing a uniform. Einstein was also known for wearing the same grey suit also.  By making fewer decisions we reduce are decision fatigue, and thus can make better decisions when it matters.

More recently from the Harry Potter movies the quote “It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” That brought a whole new generation of people thinking about the choices they make. The quote is all over graduation speeches, tattoos etc. The quote reminds us that we others will judge us on decisions we make, and they will define us. Before Harry Potter it was Luke Sywalker’s making which side of the force he was on, and I am sure before that other movies that surface the one choice that defines us.

I guess I should get back to the decision my father had to make, and why I thought about it this weekend. If we are choices who define what we really are, what happens when we make the wrong ones, or choices others don’t agree with. The obvious answer is taking responsibility for decision, but that is not so simple. For people who we know who disagree, what is their part in the decision. Should they have empathy, forgiveness or just respect our choice.

And for my dad, I did spend time thinking about his decision. As there is no way to rewind and go and play it over and see what happens. Unfortunately there is not an easy way from me to jump to another universe where he made the other decision. I may one day find a way to jump to it and see what happened. Instead, right now I am looking at my friends, my family and my kids and I realize, I do not have to find another universe. He made the right decision. Our decisions help define who we are, but so does our acceptance of other decision around us, as those choices along with our own are what made us.

Somewhere my dad is watching, and as I told him before when he asked, yes you made the right decision. In fact, all your decisions were correct.  

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain; I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. The fundraising site had to be restarted, and NYP Hospital made changes to their donation sites. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket; my intention is to keep it free.  You are welcome to comment, but note it is moderated, and all spam will be removed. 

This Blog is a labor of love and was originally going to be a book. With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web I chose this path. I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content. I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip. I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog. AI is not used in this writing other than using the web to find information. Images without notes are created using an AI tool that allows me to reuse them

This weekend was the last of three races in a row for F1, the Spanish Gran Prix. Now Formula one is not my favorite auto sport, but I got into it as my daughter loves it and being a geek on autos and tech was something we could share. Formula E (electric) is more my thing.  

The race was typical for Formula 1 this year, the start is important. Getting out in into the lead and into clear air is an advantage. The next advantage was Tire management, and the eventually winner did both to perfection. But this is not the story if the race, or why we watch sports. What happened a little further back in the pack was the interesting part of the race. 

Four-time champion Max Verstappen and one of the best drivers showed human emotions. He in a rage of anger bumped another car. There was a series of incidents that led to him getting this angry and he was not angry at the car he tapped but blowing up as part of a chain of events. The one thing I was thinking was the AI autonomous drivers would never do this.  

If there is a race of autonomous vehicles, they will try to drive the perfect race. The systems will algorithmically figure out optimal decisions. Choosing when to pass, where to pass and the exact move would be impressive. Each driver would have this, and well it would be boring. We do not watch sports for perfection, in fact the opposite. There was a running joke that people watch NASCAR races for the crashes. But the crashes are simply just mistakes. Humans make mistakes and thus make watching sports that more interesting.  

I love hockey and watching it when a goal is scored there is immediate reaction about the goalie making a mistake. In most cases there are a few mistakes as there are five other players on the ice. How did the puck get to the shooter? How did the shooter get open? How did the puck get into the zone? Yes, there are a ton of players with talent and sometimes there is a great play, but in most goals, there are mistakes made. This makes the sport interesting to watch.  

There recently was a boxing robot match, and a marathon for autonomous robots, but did not go well. It was interesting to see the failures and mistakes. It was laughable to watch. If the robots get it perfect, I am not sure how interesting it would be to watch. I have written about failure before and so have a lot of others. There is the notion about celebrating failure, allowing people to fail, and learning from mistakes. As an outside observer it is these small mistakes and failures that make a great race. 

Thinking about watching mistakes there was a whole TV show based on it, called Americas Funniest Videos. This was really us watching things go horribly wrong and celebrating it. While there is a lot of talk about AI taking over but there is something where I think humans will continue to be needed. Please not I am not condoning what Max did, or any violent behavior, but it was his team’s strategy and other mistakes that made the race enjoyable to watch.  

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain; I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. The fundraising site had to be restarted, and NYP Hospital made changes to their donation sites. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket; my intention is to keep it free.  You are welcome to comment, but note it is moderated, and all spam will be removed. 

This Blog is a labor of love and was originally going to be a book. With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web I chose this path. I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content. I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip. I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog.  AI is not used in this writing other than using the web to find information. Images without notes are created using an AI tool that allows me to reuse them 

During this morning’s workout a classic Boston song started blasting. While lifting and singing I started thinking about the classic argument, “If someone leaves a band, is it the same band?” Why think about it listening to Boston?  Tom Scholz fooled the record industry by recording all the instruments himself and brought on Brad Delp. Many people recognize the bad by Brad’s unbelievable vocal style. Sadly, Brad passed away in 2007. But in 2017, I saw Boston in concert. No Brad. And yet, it’s still one of the most memorable shows I have attended. 

One can argue without Brad it is not Boston, but I was fine going to see them. I can list dozens of other bands I have gone to see that had a member lineup change.  Some due to death of a member, some to disagreements etc. Some of my favorite bands of all time spent their whole existence in constant flux of members.  Asia’s lineup diagram: 

A four-member band should not have this many lineup changes, but I can say I have seen them with many of these configurations.  

I can see the hate comments already and giving me arguments about certain bands that were never the same etc. Or even post the classic argument about David Lee Roth Van Halen split. These discussions are fine with friends, but after I got passed thinking about Boston, I wondered if there is a parallel between changing lineups in bands and my personal life.  

In our lives we have lineup changes, but this is with friends and coworkers. I look at my life five years ago, ten years ago or even just a year ago, and people have come and gone. Social media has helped (both work and professional) but then there is that theoretical limit. The Dunbar Number which states, you really can only really maintain only one hundred and fifty contacts at one time. So that means in your band, well maybe your orchestra as that is a lot of people, does have lineup changes. Whether it is work contacts, personal contacts or a combination of both, there is movement. It may not be the members swapping in and out like Asia, but it does happen. 

People compliment my connections at work, and I work hard to stay connected with so many people. When I mentor someone, I teach them how to build a contact spreadsheet, but it is not the list that matters, it is reaching out to the people often that is. Just saying hi to someone and checking in on them keeps the network stronger. I note to always preface if it is a work contact with “Not important” or “this is just a check in.” There are always those who I lost touch with, and in many cases I am good with that.  

When I started to write I realized I focused too much on the people who left my band. They could have left by choice, by circumstance or just accident, but my focus was on the loss. I made a conscious choice not to see Queen with Adam Lambert as Freddy was just so amazing that no one could replace him, yet I had no problem seeing four different lineups of Yes. All the reasons I make for not seeing Queen are just excuses, and I am missing experiences. In my personal life some people who I let go of that I wish I did not. But unlike Queen where I can buy a ticket for the next show, it is not that easy.  

I know it will be a challenge; I should focus on the people that are around. I remembered the quote from then Coach Dick Vermil when Trent Greene got injured and the St Louis Rams were going to have to play with Kurt Warner. “”We will rally around Kurt Warner, and we will play good football.”  It seemed to work out, they went on to win the Super Bowl. Years ago, when we had a mass exodus in the area I was in the MD got a few of us in his room he asked a question “What are we going to do?” My reaction was “We are going to reallocate the work with people we have and move forward.” This seems so easy in a professional setting, but not as easy in a personal setting. 

Hearing a Boston song during my work out my mind bounced around linking lineups to life it was a chuck full day. I am still wondering if what I can take out of this will help me going forward, but it does put many things that have been bothering me in perspective.  

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain; I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. The fundraising site had to be restarted and NYP Hospital made changes to their donation sites. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket, my intention is to keep it free.  You are welcome to comment, but note it is moderated and all spam will be removed. 

This Blog is a labor of love and was originally going to be a book. With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web I chose this path. I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content. I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip. I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog.  AI is not used in this writing other than using the web to find information. Images without notes are created using an AI tool that allows me to reuse them. 

I wonder why sometimes I defend a bad position. I know that I am wrong, but I stand my ground. I think of myself as someone who is driven by science, and that when given a more correct answer I will always move in the right direction. It is not in all cases, but occasionally I eschew science and drive down the wrong direction.  My dive into AI is starting to expose my own human mind as well as others. Now before I dig in deep let us dive into some history. 

Originally humans decided that we are the most intelligent species because we have the largest brain. Comparing ourselves with other animals we believed we have the biggest brains in the animal kingdom. Our dominance was due to that size; thus, brain size must be the sign of intelligence. This also translates into fiction, watch a movie that has aliens in it and what do you notice. They all have big heads! Why? Simple, if they can travel through space, they must be smarter than us, hence a bigger brain, and that leads to a big head on Aliens in movies.  

Science though got in the way of this bigger brain theory. As we studied the animal kingdom, we discovered that we did not have the biggest brains. The Sperm whale has that honor. In a panic humans did what we do best, we changed the definition, it was now ratio of brain size to body size determines intelligence. That should have been shot down immediately as insects would win that, but for not we ignore facts.  

When computers came about, we needed a way to test its intelligence. The Turning test came out in 1949 (Alan Turning) and really had a simple thought. If an evaluator cannot tell the difference between a person and a machine, the machine passes the test. This is interesting, and those of us who are aging well remember fun software like Eliza. This was an interesting program that many developers wrote versions of that would be a chatbot and you could converse with it. It had some simple responses and could not really think. It could fake some people out, and I am sure someone would argue that these simple programs could pass a test. 

Fast forward to November of 2022 and ChatGPT drops. And suddenly there is a chat tool that just blows people away. I know I am skipping a lot of chat failures, but when ChatGPT came out AI hit mainstream. Technically if you chatted with one, or some humans you may not be able to tell the difference Turning test solved. Well like the brain size before, we moved the goal posts. Humans first started attacking them, finding where they would go awry. People had to prove that these new chat tools (and ones after) have flaws that they are not as smart as people.  

The latest thought is Humanities Last Exam. This is such a hard exam that even the best AI tool only scored 10% on this test. It is a test of 3,000 questions on complex topics that you could not easily google an answer. Just as the test came out new models are created that slowly do better. What happens when AI models are suddenly scoring on the high 90s? They will rename the test the Humanities Second to Last Exam and a new Exam will be created.  

In our desire to show we are superior to AI we move the definition of intelligence. In Neil de Grasse Tyson’s book he starts out saying “The universe is under no obligation to make sense to you.”  Though we often talk about AI currently being a Stocastic Parrot but is it possible that it moves away from that? There is a classic saying that something is impossible till it is not (paraphrasing Nelson Mandela) and when it does change is it possible that we do not understand it? 

Revisiting the beginning of this post, why do I not admit I am wrong when presented with normally convincing evidence. It is the same reaction humans have with AI, we want to believe we are the smartest, most intelligent thing. The belief of being wrong is a lack of intelligence. It is not, being wrong is just that, you are wrong in that situation. It is a sign of intelligence to recognize it, make the correction and move on.  If you correct Chat GPT, it acknowledges that it was wrong and gives a different answer so maybe it is already more intelligent than humans. Guess I will spend my time trying to be more like it. 

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain; I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. The fundraising site had to be restarted and NYP Hospital made changes to their donation sites. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket, my intention is to keep it free.  You are welcome to comment, but note it is moderated and all spam will be removed.

This Blog is a labor of love and was originally going to be a book. With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web I chose this path. I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content. I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip. I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog.  AI is not used in this writing other than using the web to find information. Images without notes are created using an AI tool that allows me to reuse them. 

Have you ever done some home repair, and while doing so you need something you do not have? I could be a fastener, a piece of wood, a piece of metal, anything. What do you often do, you try to be creative. You look around for alternatives, you dig through an old soup container of bolts and screws. I have done this, a few months ago the bottom of a sink cabinet was ruined, and i found old shelves that i was able to cut to replace it. Instant fix. The notion that you need to find solutions with a limited universe is not new.

In the space race against Russia to land on the moon the Guidance Computers on the Apollo mission had a measly 4KB of RAM. Read that again 4KB, not Mega, not Giga but KB. The software developers had to optimize every line of code to fit in the small space. I can only imagine how hard they worked to figure it all out. They were limited by the technology that was available at the time. Sometimes limits are self-imposed, imposed by outside or just parameters you need to work within.

How about Super Mario Brothers game? The developers had to squeeze it into a 256 kilobits cartridge, and in doing so they made a lot of concessions to fit it. It added 3-4 extra weeks to development, so what if sound effects were recycled? Other examples include the first Palm Pilot (think pre-iPhone) had 128k of RAM, the first Mars rover 512k RAM, and the TI-83 graphing calculator had 32k of RAM.

Why is this the topic? In the end of December (2024) as a Christmas gift a new AI model was released called Deep Seek V3. The Chinese company that built it had was under a lot of limitations, more like restrictions. While other companies are spending billions building or leveraging massive GPU farms, Deep Seek needed to think differently based on the restrictions they were under. Without the resources of the larger companies, they found a novel way of training.

According to the Deep Seek GitHub, they only used 2.664M of H800 GPU (much older NVIDIA GPUS) for pretraining, and 0.1M GPU hours for additional training. The cost is somewhere around $5M. Compared to the model most people know, Open AI spent approximately $100M to train their current model, other models the estimate is around that same $100M with them being vocal about it costing a lot more to do the next model.

Bruce Lee said “If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.” I am going to disagree with Bruce this time. Limits as shown above drive creativity. Whether it is internal or external limits, those who can find the answers, exploit the loopholes think differently will break though. In every situation we are in there is a limited universe for us to work in. It is our ability to adapt, create and find solutions is what defines success. To rephrase a different Bruce Lee quote, “Use Limits as no limits”

Note: I started writing this early in January and took a step back after a few drafts and was thinking this may break a principle I keep. I did not want to promote or demean a public company. I was fortunate that others saw this, and today before this was posted the markets already reacted. My goal is for me to stop worrying about limits and find freedom in the box. If others can do it, why can’t I? I often am caught saying we cannot do this do to some limitation, I should be saying “Let me rethink this, there must be a solution within our guidelines”

The other thing I started to think about is the limits I put on others. I should think about them and ensure that there is a good reason to do so. Putting limits that someone will find the loophole is not successful, limits that are for protection, security and have some thought could be good. Thanks to all the teams who succeed given impossible limitations and giving us motivation to do the same. A friend mentioned to me that necessity is the mother of invention, but maybe the line should be necessity is the mother of creativity.

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain; I do not take advertising, and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. The fundraising site had to be restarted, and NYP Hospital made changes to their donation sites. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket, my intention is to keep it free. You are welcome to comment, but note it is moderated, and all spam will be removed.

This Blog is a labor of love and was originally going to be a book. With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web I chose this path. I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content. I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip. I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog. AI is not used in this writing other than using the web to find information. Images without notes are created using an AI tool that allows me to reuse them.

In a conversation with a coworker, I mentioned my management style was “Selective Plagiarism.” I said it more comically than seriously, but it is the best description I can give. I mentioned what I do is take ideas from those who I think are great minds often try the idea, if it works keep it, if not throw it out.  Sometimes failures are not the idea but with the person implementing them, but I manage based on lessons I learned over the years and kept what only works.  

This got me thinking about the word I chose plagiarism. I look back at the past couple of years and there is not a discipline that is immune from being accused of plagiarism. The music industry which always had issues, had one great moment, Ed Sheeran won a copyright lawsuit over a Marvin Gaye song. The decisive factor, Ed Sheeran brought his guitar into the courtroom and played several songs with the same chord progression. A four-chord progression that is all over pop music to the point a band Axis of Awesome did a melody about it. Yes, go listen then come back, I will wait for you. What is amazing is that progression is now called the Axis progression, For musicians, the progression is I – V – vi – IV. 

On the other side of the music is artist like Weird Al Yankovic who made a living doing parodies. Parodies are not treated as plagiarism as the listener is supposed to understand that it is the same music, just the lyrics were changed. In the copyright world, parodies are protected. Weird Al was respectful and made sure he obtained approval before taking on a song, but by law he it was not necessary.  

Copyright also permits this notion of derivative work. Someone can improve upon a patent someone already has if they are adding something novel which the original patent did not cover. What I remember most about this type of plagiarism was Apple suing Microsoft over the Windows operating system. What was interesting about this case, was Steve Jobs had taken the ideas from the Xerox Parc team on a visit. The systems we use now both were stolen ideas. 

I could continue to point out plagiarism, including college presidents, academic papers and even someone I quote often, Bruce Lee has been accused of plagiarism. As I said, my choice of that word was interesting as a widespread practice now of learning a lot, trying it out and only keeping what works and constantly improving is this notion of selective plagiarism. Yes, I am talking about Agile (for my IT friends). But I could easily be talking about Jeet Kune Do. And if we dig deeper and further back there are hundreds more which contain this pattern. This blog has become my desire to learn from stories of my life, telling stories and finding the meaning.  

What I find is there is a a fine line between this notion of plagiarism and derivative works. Everything I learned in my lifetime has been molded into how I live, work, and manage. I do not think I took one person’s life and copied it, but there are people I admire, and try to learn from them. To go back to music, TJR did an amazing analysis of the Axis for Awesome 4 chord song. To make their song they missed the nuances of each song, and often only played one section of the song. TJR nailed it, if you do not hear the baseline, you cannot recognize Don’t Stop Believing. What is not important is that musicians understand the chord progression does sound good, but how they express themselves using those chords. When you learn something, do not be a stochastic parrot, and repeat it like Chat GPT. You should dissect it and make it your own. Artists often pay homage to their influences; I go back to Bon Jovi crediting Bob Dylan in writing the Young Guns soundtrack. 

I think I will continue to evolve and learn from others and incorporate it into my style. I will pay homage to my influences when I can, but as I stated previously when someone reads something of mine, I do not want it to sound generic, I do not want it to sound generated, I want it you to hear my voice when you read it. I should not call it selective plagiarism, but to me that term lets you know that I did pick it up somewhere, and I am not afraid to give them credit when asked. So later when I write a song using the Axis Progression you all know who to credit. I do know I overused links, but really the only one you need to listen to is the Axis of Awesome song. 

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain; I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. The fundraising site had to be restarted and NYP Hospital made changes to their donation sites. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket, my intention is to keep it free.  You are welcome to comment, but note it is moderated and all spam will be removed.

This Blog is a labor of love and was originally going to be a book. With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web I chose this path. I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content. I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip. I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog.  AI is not used in this writing other than using the web to find information. Images without notes are created using an AI tool that allows me to reuse them. 

Last week’s post was part of reflecting on my year. I do get upset as there are always opportunities missed, and things I should have done, but doing that is not productive. That post was looking at the yearly cycle of creating resolutions and the challenges with them, but this week I want to take you on a different journey. I will say this past year challenged me in many ways, and though there are days I feel like the last few years I spent treading water; I do know progress is being made. This blog is proof of that progress. 

For Thanksgiving I expressed being thankful for things I already own versus being envious of what I do not have. This was me exploring a new hobby of taking pictures of the universe. My eyes were exposed to not only the magic behind the curtain of that hobby, but many of the misnomers of it also. Knowing my ADHD often stops me from trying something so challenging, as if I am not immediately proficient at something I often get frustrated and quit. One source I did not think was going to be helping me as much, not just in learning astrophotography, but in helping me with myself was groups.  

I wanted to learn as much as I could, so I took a class. That class led me to websites, YouTube videos, Reddit boards and Facebook groups. The last two places are where I lurked for a while before interacting. Getting over my fear of being a novice and showing that, I started to ask questions and was impressed with the quality of responses. I have been involved in online communities and some start off ok but either deteriorate quickly or become more harmful than good. As I started to take and process pictures and post my results, the feedback I was getting was immensely helpful. Now that I am getting better at it, I started responding to other people’s questions based on knowledge that I gained. It is this balance which differentiates groups that I seem to enjoy versus ones that I get discouraged with. 

I looked at that interaction deeply and started to ponder. Looking through my journal I did a double take. What I was looking for were days that I marked good, and days that I marked bad. I focused on the good days and looked at some of the notes and stories around those particular days.  The best days were not when I nailed a perfect sunrise or sunset photo from the ferry, did some personal best in my workout, nor any individual achievement. The best days were when I had a conversation with someone who asked me for help. Those days when I came home and thought I had a good day at work, I may not necessarily have the most individual productive day but helping someone else be productive.  

Things that were the best part of my day:  

• A text to reassure someone 
• A simple conversation about someone’s career 
• Me asking someone “how are you?” and getting a response ‘No one asked me that.’.  

I almost wish I kept a log of who helped me on what day, and when I helped someone else. The answer to what did not happen on bad days or what was not recorded on bad days became obvious. The dopamine hits from helping someone cannot be forced nor is it repeatable on demand. Finding the secret that human’s purpose is one of service of others.  

There are hundreds of memes about defining what a manager is and is not. I am personally quoted as stating, “the best leaders are ones that get obstacles out of the way so their employees can get their jobs done”, but I may need to alter that slightly. It is not always about removing the obstacles, but it also could be helping others lift themselves past those obstacles, and having your team help you past your obstacles. It is not just for people on your team or who report to you, it should be done in a broader sense. A manager is equal of a servant to those who work for him, as this balance of helping others in turn helps oneself. Your team needs to help you as much as you help them. 

Bruce Lee said, “Real life is living for others” and the notion of service is the purpose of life. But it is also having the balance of letting others help you, as they also find purpose in the interaction. Purely being one sided relationship fail no matter what type of relationship it is. It does explain some of my friendships and gives me something to focus on for 2025.  I hope your 2025 exceeds your expectations and you find those connections who you can help, and they can help you. 

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain; I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. The fundraising site had to be restarted and NYP Hospital made changes to their donation sites. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket, my intention is to keep it free.  You are welcome to comment, but note it is moderated and all spam will be removed.

This Blog is a labor of love and was originally going to be a book. With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web I chose this path. I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content. I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip. I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog.  AI is not used in this writing other than using the web to find information. Images without notes are created using an AI tool that allows me to reuse them. 

Instead of taking a class this semester I buried myself in reading, and I took to authors that have influenced me and my writing. One book I reread was “The Infinite Game” by Simon Sinek. I am not sure why I keep coming back to this book, but each time I find my brain rolling with ideas. I will not try to summarize the complete book, but the highlight is that adopting the right mindset can drive companies to long term success, opposed to quarter-by-quarter results. He gives plenty of examples of successful companies following this theory. 

A finite game is something that has a defined set of rules, and at the end has a clear winner. Some good examples are sports, board games etc. An infinite game would have no rules, no set players, no real endpoint, and no trophy to hold up. Think politics, business, and even just life. And it is that last word ‘life’ that started me thinking, his book is a playbook for companies that want to succeed long term. Companies each year create roadmaps for the year, and when things happen like they get a new CEO they set a new vision.  

As people approach New Years Eve, many people think about their vision for the year, often called resolutions. I want to lose weight, read more etc. To set a measurable goal, those measurable goals lead to success. If we change that mindset and make those goals infinite, the key is to make that once and create systems to achieve them. Our goals should not be, I want to lose ten pounds as that is very finite and short term, the infinite goal would be I want to live a healthy lifestyle. One milestone of a healthy lifestyle is losing weight, but by building the lifestyle it will last a lot longer than short term weight loss. Other examples could be to be more philanthropic with your life. It is not about a one-time donation but changing your mindset to be active with charities.  When you hit them, you will wonder what is next, instead of thinking infinite, the change is permanent. Happiness will come from doing small things daily that relate to your long-term success, however you define it. 

Where do I start finding my infinite life? Start with what gives your life meaning. Simon has another book “Start with Why” which helps companies create their identity and it is the question you can start with also. Do you want to leave the world a better place? Do you to be remembered? Do you want to help others that may never know who you were? And then ask why do you want those things. In finding the why you will find a passion that is hidden inside yourself. And I may be trivializing this as it may take a long time. Be patient, it took me a long time to figure this part out, and I am still adjusting occasionally. 

Next is about people. Surround who are honest, trustworthy, will give you valuable feedback and support you. You must be able to do the same, you must listen to them, give them feedback, show vulnerability etc. You need to enjoy and celebrate their success. You need to learn how to be a good friend. Find one special friend that you can compete with, someone who challenges you. For every Coke there is a Pepsi, Microsoft there is an Apple, you need someone who is a worthy rival to compete with. Instead of envying their abilities, use them as a learning experience to improve yourself. These connections will be important as you get older.  

Bruce Lee once said, “Notice that the stiffest tree is most easily cracked while the bamboo or the willow survives by bending with the wind.”  Yes, the next key is going to be flexibility. You are going to need to adapt to change. Growing up I remember when we were told a healthy diet consisted of a lot of bread and eat the least amount of fat. Science has changed and if having a healthy lifestyle is your goal, you need to adjust based on the new science. Outside influences will force flexibility, fighting them will only make your infinite goal harder to achieve.  

Do not be afraid of failure. Failure should be a learning experience in reaching the infinite game. If you gain a few pounds, or get hurt etc. It is ok, it is only a temporary hurdle. Since you are playing the long game the next day, the next meal gives you a chance to course correct. Just like a GPS does when you miss a turn, you reroute. This goes hand in hand with flexibility. 

Lastly, have the courage to keep going. Only you know what you want out of life. Only you know your infinite goals. No matter what life throws at you, have the courage to wake up and make the next day better. This is where it helps to have people around you who support you. In your darkest moments, they can encourage you. If you have a rival, you can wake up and think, I cannot let them beat me today.  

Happiness is not a destination. Think that if I lost ten pounds then you will be happier, but it does not work. What makes you happy is the effort and journey to lose that weight while building a healthy lifestyle which prevents it from coming back. Happiness is people noticing your face getting thinner, your skin looking better, your general attitude getting better from being healthy. Happiness is living with purpose, waking up every morning, and practicing the infinite game. Short term successes are only steps and needed along the way. This should be more of a book than a short essay, and it is not my usual storytelling, but alas I bent like the willow today. 

Take a step back, find your why and start your infinite game. 

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain; I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. The fundraising site had to be restarted and NYP Hospital made changes to their donation sites. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket, my intention is to keep it free.  You are welcome to comment, but note it is moderated and all spam will be removed.

This Blog is a labor of love and was originally going to be a book. With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web I chose this path. I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content. I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip. I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog.  AI is not used in this writing other than using the web to find information. Images without notes are created using an AI tool that allows me to reuse them. 

Last year I took a class in Astrophysics, and it blew my mind. After that I decided to take a class in Astrophotography, it always fascinated me. As a child my dad also had a fondness of the stars, he purchased a telescope from Edmund scientific. It was not just a cheap one like the ones you see on sale for under a hundred dollars, but one with a motorized star tracker. He also purchased an adapter for the 35mm camera (Pentax Spotmatic) so we could take pictures, we already had a dark room in the basement to develop them. Without the necessary training, time commitment to work on it the interest slowly faded away.

After taking the class, I wandered into my local astronomy club a few Fridays and just listened to others who were deep into the hobby. One night a good friend came with me, and when we left be both felt we brought the average IQ in that room seriously down. What I learned was that astrophotography could be an expensive hobby, but you could start out a lot simpler. That the technology to create a stunning nebula photo like the ones seen on APOD was much more attainable than in the 1970s.  

I turned to the internet and started searching. From the years of photographing my daughters in their activities (hockey, lacrosse, figure skating and cheerleading) I had purchased a few Digital cameras (DSLR) and some lenses. I was wondering, based on what I learned, could I just start with equipment that I already had. My mistake was taking the class towards the end of the spring and into summer. In the northern hemisphere the amount of nighttime starts to shrink, and one needs to be up late to take pictures of the stars. My ADHD kicked in and the hobby again was put on the shelf.  

It is now November, and I had a few bad weeks mentally. I will not go into details; it could be that it is getting dark out at 4:30pm. I noticed sitting on a chair in my office was my photography bag, I thought dang it is getting dark out early now is the time to shoot. I had already saved a whole bunch of YouTube videos and articles, and I learned even since the spring other techniques improved so on Saturday night, I went to take some trial photos from my street. The first night shots were horrible, the second night was light years better. Last night was the third night and it was too cloudy to shoot.   

Last night though I had an epiphany. I was writing my yearly giving thanks post, and though it was littered with the usual b.s. that one spills it felt calculated and not real. In a conversation with someone I they said something that made me scrap it all and start over. One of the reasons for my languishing was that I was looking at what I did not have. I saw the glass was half empty.  But more important, the last few days my languishing had gone away as I was deep into my new hobby.   

The connection was made, I simply was enjoying what I had, I was not concerned about what I did not, and other people have. A camera, a tripod, a lens, and a lot of computer power allowed me to see stars that I could not see with the naked eye. The sheer amount of light pollution makes it hard to really shoot astrophotography. What I learned I actually get amazing shots with the cameras I already owned. I was very thankful at that moment. I was thankful for everything that led me to the moment I created my first decent stacked photo. From my parents nurturing my love of astronomy, to having a job that let me afford some good camera equipment, to my kids who without them I would not have bought said camera, to having a roof over my head, and to being alive to shoot photos. I am truly lucky and there are other people who do not have a place to live, do not have the choices we have for food and who are not in great health. A first world hobby taught me something about giving thanks in a way I did not expect.  

In a time where there are a lot of problems, I am thankful that I live in this country, have shelter, food I choose to eat, and the basics of life are not a struggle. I am thankful for family, friends, coworkers, people no longer with us, people who are just no longer in my life (some I wish still were) people I never met who had an impact on me and the way of life that we take for granted every day.   I am also thankful for people taking the time to read my blog, you do not have to, it is a choice. My wish is that everyone finds that something or someone that is already in their life and cherishes it just a little more today. 

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain; I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. The fundraising site had to be restarted and NYP Hospital made changes to their donation sites. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket, my intention is to keep it free.  You are welcome to comment, but note it is moderated and all spam will be removed.

This Blog is a labor of love and was originally going to be a book. With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web I chose this path. I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content. I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip. I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog.  AI is not used in this writing other than using the web to find information. Images without notes are created using an AI tool that allows me to reuse them. 

When I was younger my dad would tell me stories about cars. One story was how he drove on a racetrack. I guess it may be genetic that there was a fascination with cars when we were younger.  Growing up my parents did not drive race cars, or exotic sports cars. They owned things like an LTD Station Wagon, Volvo 240 sedan etc. At one point my dad had a Datsun (yes not Nissan yet) 260z. As a kid I was fascinated with more exotic cars, Porsche, Jaguar, Ferrari, and Shelby Cobras. My dad gave me some information about Jaguars as one of our family friends owned one, how you could drive them on weekends, but they needed to be tuned during the week. To own one, you would need to have a daily driver and drive the Jaguar on weekends. This seemed bizarre as well as added to their exoticness.  

Most people do not think about maintenance for their cars, as most modern cars can go a long time without it, but back in the 1970’s and 1980’s cars needed regular maintenance. The oil needed to be changed every three-thousand miles, spark plugs were changed multiple times a year, air filters when they got dirty, rotating tires and it was important to lubricate the chassis. There were many other parts that were serviceable including the PCV Valve, Distributors, Points, etc. My dad was not mechanically inclined, but we owned a Chilton’s and did some basic maintenance. Eventually my brother and I did some of the work ourselves.   Not sure people remember all the different tools that came out to gap spark plugs, we bought all different ones no idea why. For those confused there were no YouTube videos for guidance.  

Most people now do not maintain their own cars. Many cars can go one hundred thousand miles without the need for changing spark plugs, and for other maintenance there are quick oil change places that get you out quicker than can be done at home. Some cars even say that Oil changes can be done at fifteen thousand miles (with synthetic oil). Modern cars no longer have some parts like distributors, distributor caps, points and all other parts that were worn regularly.   That Parent to Child relationship of working on cars does not exist like it used to (Yes, I have gotten to that it was better back then). I do have one neighbor who does it, but it is far and few between.  

But as cars lost the need for maintenance I look back at the days when they needed it. Thinking about the story my dad said about Jaguars, it was not just about cars. That the man car relationship I had as a kid was an introduction to person-to-person relationships.  Each relationship needs constant maintenance and sometimes repair. Sometimes it is a call, a text, a thank you, a change or routine or a hug. Sometimes it is a slight tuning of what you do, and other times it is a bit of work.  

As a child I would read about how intricate the Jaguar engines were. They were so complex that there were special mechanics just for these exotic cars. Unlike the human mind, it is incredibly complex. What is crazy is that there are manuals for how to fix cars, so you have a relationship with cars, but I do not remember seeing a manual on friendship. The best mechanics can hear something about a car, whereas a friend can sense when something is wrong. But there is a manual on how to maintain a Jaguar to keep it running well so you can drive it, but no such luck with friendship. 

What are things that help friendship. I wish there were a simple list, or a magic list. I am sure that I made mistakes in some friendships in the past.  In a podcast I was listening to one thing was mentioned that responding to a friend with shortcuts like ‘HBU,’ ‘TY,’ or ‘YW’ instead of typing out the sentence is disrespectful. That you need to put more effort into conversations with your friends. But that to me is an old person speak. The same person complained about contractions. Noticing effort is different, whether someone uses shortcuts or not is not material. It really is between two people, if it bothered me, I would say something. This is the maintenance part, being able to tell a friend “Hey, I wish you would not do that.” Simply tuning it continues to grow. 

If you think you can get a relationship that needs no maintenance, you are wrong. The best relationships are when that maintenance work seems easy.  Just like working on cars with dad or friends. Funny I do not think my dad meant to teach me that lesson, not sure he ever wanted to work on his car. The lesson I got from it did not surface much later in life. It is too bad that cars these days do not need some care, so that kids could learn the lesson of putting in effort to keep something they love.   Yeah, and that is me pretending to look confused while trying to fix a gas line.

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain; I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. The fundraising site had to be restarted and NYP Hospital made changes to their donation sites. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket, my intention is to keep it free.  You are welcome to comment, but note it is moderated and all spam will be removed.

This Blog is a labor of love and was originally going to be a book. With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web I chose this path. I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content. I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip. I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog.  AI is not used in this writing other than using the web to find information. Images without notes are created using an AI tool that allows me to reuse them.