It is now two weeks after my father’s passing and I continue to look back at the lessons my dad taught me, as well as what we want to pass down to my children. In some podcasts I listen to, they talk about building ‘Generational Wealth.’ The goal, to build up enough assets to pass them down to your children. Building up an investment portfolio, real estate or business and leaving it to your heirs this gift is something that helps define success. There is a dopamine hit when you realize you can take care of someone once you are gone. Let us ignore the people who leave everything to their dogs. 

My dad and I discussed his will at length many times. He wanted to make sure certain people were taking care of after his death. Now that he has gone, I have noticed a few things that were not in his will that were more important than items in it. Now I get to reflect and see what he really passed down. 

In the hours after he passed there were a lot of decisions to be made, and with some of them they are no perfect answer. My sister and I were together and trying to figure it all out. She often said some of her thoughts aloud, and often I would agree or just give some other options and ideas. As we worked through decisions, I realized one of the best gifts he gave Heidi and me was the ability to discuss.  

We would talk things out without worrying about upsetting each other. We could bounce alternatives around and come to some options that we could execute. My sister and I have our share of differences, but we were able to just focus on the end goal. We both were thinking of what would be best for our mom, who was the most important person in my dad’s life. He would do anything for her, and she would for him. 

Another lesson I learned from my dad, and really both my parents, is watching a wonderful relationship until the end. I was fortunate to have some great relationships and it is because of the role models I had in them. My parents loved each other. Not to say they agreed all the time, but that was not the norm.  My dad did not want my mom to have to do anything. Even as ill as he was, he brought her breakfast in bed until he was no longer able. In wanting to do everything for each other, they also did not want to inconvenience the other.  

My mom had no patience in the ER, so my dad would let her stay at home and luckily my sister was around to take him. He really did not want my sister to be there also, but knew he needed help. It is something I took into my relationships also, caring about them is going beyond for them. In a good relationship giving effort is well effortless, and expecting nothing in return, in a great one your partner does the same for you. 

The other key thing that I inherited from my dad was the family name. As discussed heavily in last week’s post he had changed a lot and impacted many people. Most people who knew him or knew of him thought of him in a positive light. It is our duty to continue in that and try to leave this place just a little better than we found it.  

Generational Wealth in my family is more in the wealth of knowledge. It is knowing how to use your gifts you can impact people who may never know who you are, and the secret to a great relationship. These are things that no person, government, or entity can ever take from you. My dad has passed on the ability to have a great relationship with my siblings, my partner, and others. I hope I can pass these on to my children and it be treated as the best inheritance they could get.  

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain; I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. The fundraising site had to be restarted and NYP Hospital made changes to their donation sites. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket, my intention is to keep it free.  You are welcome to comment, but note it is moderated and all spam will be removed.

This Blog is a labor of love and was originally going to be a book. With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web I chose this path. I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content. I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip. I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog.  AI is not used in this writing other than using the web to find information. Images without notes are created using an AI tool that allows me to reuse them.