Happy Father’s Day. I texted this today to friends and family, I of course could not say it to my dad. Sadly, we lost him a few days before Father’s Day last year. I spent some time reflecting on what it means to be a dad, what it means to be a father and how fortunate many people are, including me.  

I wrote once about making mistakes when you are young is a good thing, but as an adult and as a parent your mistakes are multiplied. I had a discussion with my dad about a decision he made before he passed. He was struggling with wondering if he made the right decision about something. That decision was made thirty plus years ago, and it was still on his mind. I asked him if he thought he made the right choice, he said he did.  

We make hundreds of choices every day, from when to get out of bed, what to do first, to the choice of clothes we wear to what we eat. There are people who go out of their way to make fewer decisions in their daily lives, Steve Jobs was famous for wearing the same outfit every day. He got the idea while visiting in Japan and saw workers wearing a uniform. Einstein was also known for wearing the same grey suit also.  By making fewer decisions we reduce are decision fatigue, and thus can make better decisions when it matters.

More recently from the Harry Potter movies the quote “It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” That brought a whole new generation of people thinking about the choices they make. The quote is all over graduation speeches, tattoos etc. The quote reminds us that we others will judge us on decisions we make, and they will define us. Before Harry Potter it was Luke Sywalker’s making which side of the force he was on, and I am sure before that other movies that surface the one choice that defines us.

I guess I should get back to the decision my father had to make, and why I thought about it this weekend. If we are choices who define what we really are, what happens when we make the wrong ones, or choices others don’t agree with. The obvious answer is taking responsibility for decision, but that is not so simple. For people who we know who disagree, what is their part in the decision. Should they have empathy, forgiveness or just respect our choice.

And for my dad, I did spend time thinking about his decision. As there is no way to rewind and go and play it over and see what happens. Unfortunately there is not an easy way from me to jump to another universe where he made the other decision. I may one day find a way to jump to it and see what happened. Instead, right now I am looking at my friends, my family and my kids and I realize, I do not have to find another universe. He made the right decision. Our decisions help define who we are, but so does our acceptance of other decision around us, as those choices along with our own are what made us.

Somewhere my dad is watching, and as I told him before when he asked, yes you made the right decision. In fact, all your decisions were correct.  

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain; I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. The fundraising site had to be restarted, and NYP Hospital made changes to their donation sites. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket; my intention is to keep it free.  You are welcome to comment, but note it is moderated, and all spam will be removed. 

This Blog is a labor of love and was originally going to be a book. With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web I chose this path. I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content. I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip. I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog. AI is not used in this writing other than using the web to find information. Images without notes are created using an AI tool that allows me to reuse them