Author: LrAu (Page 13 of 19)

Over the years I have watched Art and Music programs leave the school. I have donated to some of the programs that are trying to bring it back, but I know people have discussed why do kids need art and music (and sometimes sports.). I didn’t really have an answer, often I got just random answers on it. The usual arts helps with math, reading, cognitive ability etc. But I wondered if there isn’t something more.

During covid I turned to playing the guitar more, playing the keyboard some (have not in a long time) and doing some creative writing (people have seen my memes.). All of these things have helped me cope with covid, and then I realized its not just covid its helping me cope with but life in general. That my creativity is something I have used over and over to deal with things that have happened to me, including the death of my wife.

So I started googling around about having a creative outlet, and the benefits. And get this, they seem to be the same benefits for kids in school. Better at math, reading, cognitive ability and adds few new ones. Stress relief, become happier and more engaged, you find new ways to do things, find a way to get into the zone and possibly more (credit here – https://www.lifehack.org/272798/22-reasons-people-with-creative-outlets-are-more-likely-successful and a few others)

So what counts as a hobby or a creative outlet. First it needs to be fun for you. It is something that you want to do, that bring joy. Something when you start it that you prefer it not to be over or bound by time. You stop, well when you want to (in most cases.). Yes i know most people have lives, responsibilities, jobs, kids etc. Believe me I am a single father of twin teen girls, one who was an athlete. My commute was 1.5 hrs each way, and had to travel for sports. If I could make time to write, play guitar etc. you can make some time also.

Second technically you shouldn’t get paid for it. Look, I like millions of others have been told that you should do what you love and you will never work a day in your life. But often that is not possible. I did write previously about failing about what you don’t love (https://www.lrau.com/wp/2019/06/01/you-can-fail-at-something-you-dont-like/) also, but I do know most people are not in the situation where they are in the perfect job. Also if you are already say a painter or a musician for a living, there is pressure on you to produce. I have written about an artist friend of mine and the work you don’t see (find that one yourself.) Well you will need a different creative outlet so there is no pressure. When there is no pressure, no stress you can be free to express yourself very differently.

Although there are many definitions of genius (IQ etc.) the one thing I truly believe that being able to relate two completely unrelated items to solve a problem is the one a gravitate to. And having a creative outlet allows you to solve problems in a different space and opens your eyes to solving problems in your real job. Einstein kept his workspace a mess, as he believed he had no idea where inspiration would come from. He wanted to see as much as possible to find a relation to what he is thinking. This ability to relate is what I hope my hobbies will help me with.

So we do need art/music and enjoying things in school, not just for the kids to be better students, but as adults they can find a creative outlet and be better at what they choose to do as a profession. It makes better people. The argument against it is that kids need to finish work to be better prepared, well art helps them be prepared to do their job better. And we as adults need to find creative outlets, could be anything just keep it fun, and have no benefit. Yes I do post my creative writing on here, but I don’t have deadlines, I do not charge for it and the only benefit I get is the ability to express myself.

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain, I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife)  http://give.nyp.org/site/TR/DIYTeamRaiser/General?px=1031549&pg=personal&fr_id=1080 or donate to your favorite charity. I pay to host my site, to keep it add free and use wordpress, and try to spend any time on the usability on the site (I apologize for that)

For those of you who know me know that I have a dog. Love my Belle – Yuki – Bubbles (and dozen of other names we call her) and I seem to treat her health better than my own. In the 3 years we had her we have taken her to Vet for her yearly checkup. I don’t really remember doing yearly checkups 3 years in a row for myself. And one question the Vet asked was what am I feeding my dog, funny I don’t remember when my doctor ever asked me that question.

I started thinking, I take my dog to the Vet regularly have conversations on what I feed her, but why don’t I do that to myself. Why doesn’t every one put their health first. Now I do spend money on my health, I have a basement gym that I have been building for years that I do spent time in. I eat healthy when i want to lose weight, and eat sorta healthy the rest of the time. But I don’t focus on my health as much as people who know me think I do. I cheat a bit, love my buffalo wings etc. (Chegg etc.). and I do meal prep for the week so 80% of my meals are good. When I want to lose weight, or feel unhealthy I do crank it up and eat healthier.

I have spoken about my grandmother and her eating dessert first. My Grandfather was different, he had diabetes. But I never saw him prick his finger for a test, never saw him take an insulin shot. The reason, he never did it. He controlled his diabetes with his diet. He was the most strict person I saw on controlling what he ate. Being so anal about it, he did not need to take anything. When i was younger my parents told me, but i really did not process it until later. And thinking about it now, why don’t we think of diet to prevent disease vs. having to deal with it after it is crazy. I didn’t coin the term but I will repeat it here, we don’t have health care, we have sick care. People see doctors only when they are sick.

Every time i think about it I realize the answer is, well its hard. My grandfather needed extreme dedication and determination to do what he did. I know when I diet I have to focus, I have to plan, I have to really work at it if I want to lose weight. People I know tell me I make it look easy when I diet. I often talk to them in a way that makes it sound that way. But it isn’t, it takes work, focus, strength, and desire.

I can understand when there is a fad, sale for a quick weight loss, or some new magic 10 min workout people jump on it. We also only go to doctors when we are sick (a majority of us, yes there are some people who do) – So our health care system, and our values of health are based on when there is something wrong. I wonder how many people would have less health issue if we focused on being healthy instead of being selfish.

One thing I learned was that when we are born our taste buds are geared towards calories, hence we like sweets. Our brains and our bodies need calories so we want to get as much as we can. The problem is we don’t lose that sweet tooth too easily. I could blame fast food, stores etc. But the problem is with us, we have to make the right choices. More importantly, I have to make the right choices. I can argue that eating healthy is expensive, hard to do, etc. All which is true…

But that does not change the fact that I don’t see my doctor regularly, don’t tell him what I eat, don’t focus on my diet myself and set an example for not just my kids but others. And treat our health system like a health care not sick care. All of this based on seeing my grandfather fight a tough disease all by working on his diet. So I guess I need to pick a day and go to the Dr, get my blood work understand my current health situation and start working on my health using health care. And hopefully only see my Dr to check on my status vs. when I get sick.

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain, I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife)  http://give.nyp.org/site/TR/DIYTeamRaiser/General?px=1031549&pg=personal&fr_id=1080 or donate to your favorite charity. I pay to host my site, to keep it add free and use wordpress, and try to spend any time on the usability on the site (I apologize for that)

In a court an eyewitness testimony is taken as truth for a murder case, but if a guy says he saw an alien we think he is crazy…. Why do we take one eyewitness as truth and another as not ?

This is something that I think about as in science you need to prove something exists and make sure it is repeatable. Often though experiments are not duplicated independently. A murder trial cannot be duplicated, aka no one is making that scene again. We don’t believe in aliens, but a murder is plausible enough so we accept eyewitnesses.

Sometimes I just don’t have anything else to write after the statement. Above is simple statement, but it is something we should question both and find truth.

I would put a disclaimer here, but chose not to.

Over the past 6 months during the Covid crisis something has come clear, I have no idea what freedom means. I have heard a story and will combine them to hide identities. But the all go something like this….

I was at a store when I saw an old lady yelling at another lady who did not wear a mask into a store. She was yelling that she has a pre-existing condition and that by not wearing a mask she is endangering her. The non-mask wearer then argues that she should not be out, that there are alternatives to getting her shopping done, if she has pre-existing condition she should not be out.

I have heard multiple variations of the story, from who starts it, to male/female etc. And each time i hear a version i put myself in both shoes. Wondering who is in the right, and honestly I am confused. I have elderly parents with pre-existing conditions, and they try not go out that much, or put themselves in any danger. I have a neighbor who does the same, they order from peapod etc. and limit going out and putting themselves at risk.

I have friends who don’t believe in masks, but wear them anyway and are no way aggressive towards anyone. They are treating others with respect. But still i constantly hear from one side or the other, someone has to be wrong in the situation. But I am think what is the legal rights in this situation, vs the right of the individual. Both individuals have rights, and they are upset their rights are being violated. Both should know better – and not put the other in this situation. And I can empathize with both.

Some stores do make it easy by mandating masks in their stores, but at that point it should only be store employees enforcing the mandate. One store I went to had a guard out front ensuring compliance. Of course when you go into the store you can wear the mask on your chin etc. Stores are asking people who in some cases make minimum wage to enforce this policy. They don’t even allow the the chase thieves, what is the difference.

Maybe I wish that people showed more respect to each other, and don’t think they are now in charge of enforcing executive orders, or in charge of directing what is best for someone. Maybe when covid is gone people will find compassion again to be helpful. I am in no means saying this is an hourly occurrence, but its happening once too often. I will continue to think about it.

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain, I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife)  http://give.nyp.org/site/TR/DIYTeamRaiser/General?px=1031549&pg=personal&fr_id=1080 or donate to your favorite charity. I pay to host my site, to keep it add free and use wordpress, and try to spend any time on the usability on the site (I apologize for that)

I guess it seemed like a good time to post it, been keeping it since late Feb when it appeared that Corona was going to be big, and yes it was. Bigger than I ever though and definitely more deadly. I posted it with spelling, grammatical errors etc. It is un-edited just my words, sometimes a new flash, sometimes what I am thinking etc. I probably should not have put out in the public, but I just wanted to put it out there, as i know people may be feeling the same as I, afraid, courageous, hopeful, scared, wanting to help, helpless all at the same time.

I am debating if this weekend is the final update, as what is going on now needs something else, something a bit different than a daily journal. But we shall see…

There are situations in life where you don’t know what to say. I have been on both sides of this dilemma. When my wife passed away, I know some people could not talk to me about it, and I and I think everyone has been in the situation where you don’t know what to say to someone else.

What I can say, when it was me being the one who people were approaching you don’t need to say anything, being there was good enough. Whatever you say would be good enough. For other people, I don’t have what is best for them. The one thing that I have been asking is “How can I help…” This is often better than how you are doing? Everyone asks that, How can I help gets to an action as you know they can’t be doing great. This gives the person something that you can do to assist with the turn around.

If you are reading this no during May/June of 2020 you may not get why, but I would advise you to google it and see what is going on. As for how I helped, I gave money to organizations that can make this place a better world. Isn’t that our goal and life journey, to make this world a better place than it was when we got here.

My disclaimer -though there maybe better places to donate in this time.

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain, I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife)  http://give.nyp.org/site/TR/DIYTeamRaiser/General?px=1031549&pg=personal&fr_id=1080 or donate to your favorite charity. I pay to host my site, to keep it add free and use wordpress, and try to spend any time on the usability on the site (I apologize for that)

Hearing a classic wise tale, I felt I would add it here. This old guy had a prized horse, and he was talking to his neighbor. The next day the prized horse ran away, and again the old guy was talking to the neighbor, and the neighbor said “Sorry for the loss of your horse…” the old guy replied “Who knows whether that is good or bad…” The neighbor was confused.

The next day, the horse came back and brought back with him 12 other horses. The neighbor shocked, said the the old guy “Congrats on being rich with horses…” The old guy replied “Who knows if this is good or bad.. but you seem to keep coming to conclusions so quickly” The neighbor again is confused.

The next day the old guys son was thrown from one of the horses and broke his leg. The neighbor learning of this came over and said to the old guy “Sorry about your son…” the old guy reiterated, “who knows if this is good or bad… why do you keep drawing conclusions..” The neighbor is really, really confused about this one.

The net day the Army came around took every able bodied young men, having a broken leg was spared from going. The story can go on and on, and the question is what do we learn from story. Maybe it is not to get too high, or get too low. Maybe for every great thing that happens, may not be that great, and for bad things that happen, may not be that bad. The lesson I see may not be the same for everyone.

I wrote previously about looking down when climbing up to celebrate how far you have gone. But if you were to believe this story above, you shouldn’t as do not get excited for the victories. But maybe the lesson is to look at it for what it is, and enjoy it now matter if seems good or bad, either way it is an experience that you managed to survive, and wait to see what comes next.

Or maybe the stories lesson is not to draw conclusions to anything too quickly. The final answer maybe a few days away, or even longer. That the success or failure maybe different a few days, months or years later. So be mindful on the things that happen, take them for what the moment is, and look later in retrospective and how it changes over time.

Its maybe a few weeks into the US blowing up (we have not hit the top of the curve) and I am sitting home doing my best to self quarantine and going a bit stir crazy. I like many people are trying to figure out these times, and with the uncertainty of it all I don’t have answers. As a parent my biggest fear is not having answers for my kids, and this one can’t be googled (or alexa’d or whatever)

But what I learned is what we fear the most, and this is the fear of unknowns and lack of control. This virus has hit us with both big time. At times like this many people need to do and say things so they can sleep at night. They need to believe that they are invulnerable and wont get it, or wont hit anyone they know. They need to pretend its just a bad cold. Not that the numbers don’t relate, you can find statistics that prove you point. The list of flu deaths (hell the deaths from car accidents and others will top this) So attacking asking why people are panicking allows those people to sleep at night.

Others need to hoard everything in side (Toilet paper, cleaning supplies, food etc.) as that is what they can control. They have no control of whether the can get the virus, whether or not they will survive it. What they can control is having enough things to eat then wipe you but when it comes out the other end. I guess that sounds reasonable.

But the thing that I see most of, is many people attacking politicians, scientists, people they know and people they don’t know. This is a response to fear and lack of control. I honestly don’t know what this virus will and can’t do, nor do I know how fast it will propagate. Inf fact there is a podcast of Virus experts (This week in Virology – http://www.microbe.tv/twiv/ ) and these guys know what they are talking about, and they don’t have the answers. Listening back to the first few weeks of the outbreak in China, they seem more inquisitive and wondering vs. giving out what was going to happen.

The attack about what to call it (China virus) to attacking the people who call it the China virus is amazing. I was always told the first thing you do when you are in a hole is to stop digging. It seems like by throwing mud at each other is to continue digging. Then again the information we get is definitely confusing. We are told to “self quarantine” then someone says maybe that is not the best idea putting carriers with some elder people. We closed schools, but going back in history closing schools does not prevent the spread of contagious diseases. ( https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2020/03/does-closing-schools-slow-spread-novel-coronavirus# ) Well pre-preemptive closing doesn’t work, reactive does. Which are we doing ?

What I hope to see, I see in pockets. Neighbors offering to get supplies and companies re-thinking what they do and working to build PPE’s. Bauer a hockey company is making masks for Doctors, so the next time I am thinking of getting hockey equipment my first choice will be Bauer. But unfortunately this is only in pockets, there are more people posting on Facebook links to everything and anything. But I guess again it is so they can sleep at night.

I have not slept well at night some nights. Yes I worry a lot about what is going on. but I more worry about my parents, and some other elderly people I know, and people who are on the front line, and wish I could do something more. My outlet is writing like this, playing guitar, working out, and often trying to make some humor of what is going on. I don’t want say so-and-so is doing a bad job (governor, president, mayor etc.) as what we are going thru is unprecedented. (Need to stop digging) Instead we need to think what we should be doing, could be doing to get thru this. It takes a toll mentally on a lot of people, sitting and waiting for it to end. I hope the estimates are not as bad as people present, and that we are outside social gathering sooner then later, but for now I will just do my best to stay at home. I will try to support some of my local restaurants as I will need them when this is over, and if I find something that I can do to help I will. But what I learned is that the fear of unknown and lack of control will always exist, it is what we do with the energy it surfaces that determines our character. What kind of person do you want to be?

A great line from the progressive rock band Yes, and something that I like to do. I was amazed how people only wanted people who were “like them” around them. This past week I saw an example and I thought great. But the internet went into a furry.

From what I saw Ellen’s fans where upset she was hanging with George Bush. Now, I didn’t see any Bush fans upset, but then again he is not a social media influencer, so i would expect that. This is where people on social media who could have used it as a lesson in how to be better, instead used it to be a negative. Props to Ellen who responded “Just because I don’t agree with someone on everything does not mean I’m not going to be friends with them. When I say be kind to one another, I don’t mean only the people that think the same as you do, I mean be kind to everyone.”

Why is it that people have to surround themselves by only people who are like themselves, who only share the same beliefs as themselves. Lets take a real out of this world example. Who still believes in Santa Claus? And if you don’t do you ever spend time with kids who still do, or did? You didn’t start a fight because they believed and you did not? Now you say but that isn’t important, well guess what it is a belief. One thing I have learned, it is almost impossible to change someones beliefs. But the other thing I learned, if someone treats you well, shows you respect, and personality wise you get along what does one belief difference mean?

I guess I should expect people to overreact, because well that is the internet and social media. To me this should be a lesson, not a game of shaming. One that we can be civil to each other and start to solve the tough problems together. Instead it because another online mess. I will use it as confirmation that I should continue to spend them with people who are different than me.

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain, I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife)  http://give.nyp.org/site/TR/DIYTeamRaiser/General?px=1031549&pg=personal&fr_id=1080 or donate to your favorite charity. I pay to host my site, to keep it add free and use wordpress, and try to spend any time on the usability on the site (I apologize for that)

I have heard this saying often, so not sure who to credit the first, but I seem to be finding myself in the same situation. I have gotten older, and 2019 has flown by, yet some days seem to take forever. When I was a child, I couldn’t wait to get older. First I wanted my bar-mitzvah to come (turning of 13) then I wanted to drive at 17, then to vote (18) and then to drink legally 21. Seems like there were and endless set of milestones.

Now at 52, yes i am that old (in 2019) I don’t have predetermined goals. Maybe retirement, But that is not a set perfect age, and that is the only predetermined goal that is in front of me. Maybe its why the time feels the way it does. When you are impatient and waiting for something, the time seems to go slow. You can’t wait to get to the top of the mountain (don’t forget to look down) that each step seems to take forever. As well as now the goal isn’t there,or not really in sight seems the days go long.

I think each event in ones life seems to fly by, and sometimes to anticipation is what makes it drag on. Take for instance high school graduation. For days you can’t sleep waiting for that moment, talking to your classmates about it. Anticipating this momentous occasion. Alas it was just a walk, a short speech, getting handed a fake piece of paper and gone in a moment. What seem to be a 4 years wait, dozens of classes, countless homework and tests, and in a flash it was summarized in under an hour. Looking back I remember taking pictures with my friends (Larry Russo who is not with us anymore) and hugging and crying. I also remember it went so fast that it didn’t seem such and event.

But I should realize it was the journey, and not that celebration that was the fun time. And much of the time spent in high school was truly great times. Watching my kids now go thru it, I can see the same desire and anticipation to finish. I wish they would learn from my mistake and enjoy it more. I see that they do have some fun moments, but they need more. I know we have a little excuse, but their future is going to be full of adult challenges and there is only such a short time to be a kid. Maybe one of them will read this, and see what I see.

There are more goals ahead of them, falling in love for the first time, their first real job, their first paycheck, their first place of their own, getting married, maybe even having kids. And each journey they should enjoy. Right now I have the fortunate to know better, and I am on a new journey myself and trying to enjoy every day of it. I have no idea where it will lead, but I do know now not to worry about the destination.

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain, I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife)  http://give.nyp.org/site/TR/DIYTeamRaiser/General?px=1031549&pg=personal&fr_id=1080 or donate to your favorite charity. I pay to host my site, to keep it add free and use wordpress, and try to spend any time on the usability on the site (I apologize for that)