Category: Success (Page 10 of 12)

This is going to be the first in I am not sure how many parts about team building. Originally a discussion with a person who worked for me about 5–6 years ago (now not even at my company) and we talked about creating a podcast. But it is just something that will be a limited set and if I get the energy it will turn into a series of videos. But I go back to something I was told when I was younger, that I have the face for radio…. Now on with part 1. (Please note they will not be an any particular order, but based on what I was thinking at that time…) 

Recently I was asked what I do… and without much thought I stated, ‘I build teams and my teams create software.” Yes, I know that goes against the I make a living being myself, but I needed to respond with something that was a bit more substantial. But what makes a good team? Why do I have someone who worked with me 5+ years ago discussing how to build a team (and he is not the first.) 

I often relate teams to sports and raising children for the simple fact that we are dealing with human beings, and humans act in the same way whether it is work, home or at group type events (sports.) During my time as a parent, coach, and manager I always wanted to seem “approachable.” I remember when I first started at a financial firm, the senior manager said they had an ‘open door’ policy. One that anyone could walk in and talk to them. I took them up on it, and not only had some good conversations but created a friendship. Looking back, not many people took advantage of this, and I did. 

Why didn’t these people take advantage of this? Were they afraid of it? Could it be that many of the people who said “I have an open-door policy” actually mean it? Could it be they were never around for people to walk in? Or that anything brought up was shot down? That if they were challenged, they rejected that challenge? Does that manager push work down and over manage his/her employees that a challenge seems futile? I am sure you can think of another. 

Now to relate this to my personal life: My daughter is gay, and my wife and I guessed this long before she told us. And knowing others who have come out and told friends and family, I can see how difficult of a challenge it can be. I do know she did not openly tell us to a period of time after she figured it out, and why did she not do that. If a manager has an open-door policy, obviously parents should have one with their kids. Why wait so long, why wait so long to tell anyone. Well, the answer is simply fear. Children are afraid of the reaction and the possibility of being rejected. So, the person who manages children (the parents) has to make the child feel safe and confident that bringing this up to them without this fear. 

What does this have to do with team building? The first thing all teams need is to have this notion that all ideas, all thoughts can be brought up within the team without the fear of rejection. From the most Junior developer to the CTO there needs the ability to challenge, to question, to bring up ideas or just ask a question must exist. Not only must the door be open, but the team members must feel comfortable having these conversations. This is training both the people asking the questions as well as those who are listening, and more importantly how to respond. Responding often can be just “let us dig into it.” The use of “us” is key (yeah, the no I in team thing). Remember the key is not having to do what they ask, but to at least allow the discussion to happen and to reinforce to the person who brought it up, that is was great they did. 

This may go against some key ideas of management structure, that the boss demands things, and that passes down. There is that classic story of ‘hiring someone smarter than you’ — Well if you do that, you better listen to them, and ensure they are comfortable in challenging you. Or the theory, hire people in your blind spot, thus again they need to challenge you. 

Look at your team (which is company, family, activity) and ask the question do you have the culture of being open enough to listen? Have we removed the fear so that anyone who can improve us is willing to talk? Have we trained people to speak up? Do we reinforce even if ideas are rejected to continue to bring things up? 

These things are hard to do in a bubble, but it can be done. And although I try my best to do this, I sometimes make mistakes. I will always try to improve it. 

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain, I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket, my intention is to keep it free. I do read all feedback, I mostly wont post any of them

This Blog is a labor of love, and was originally going to be a book. With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web I chose this path. I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content. I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip. I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog.

I remember when GPS for cars became popular, and you heard stories of people driving over a cliff, or into a river following the GPS blindly. I laughed at some of the stories, and when you hear the responses that they were following what the GPS said. Immediately I wondered if these people had common sense, any my parents telling me “If the GPS said jump off a bridge would you?” I guess some people do?

But, what if it is not their fault? What is they were trained to believe the GPS is smarter than him, and thus should trust it more than their own brain. I may divert from the GPS example here, but I want it to be a bit more relevant to the technology we are facing today.

In the early days of the internet, it was a plethora of information out there, and really no good way to find anything. Along came search engines, they were ok, and users could find information. Skip a few years, and someone decided on catalog and organizing the information was a better way for people to search. Yahoo, amllowed you to traverse the internet (well a limited set of the internet human curated) with ease. Then came google. Google came up with an algorithm that just worked better, and did it without human intervention, thus making Yahoo not a scalable business model.

Google continued to evolve, as they realized they could help people ‘answer questions’ vs just search. This started in 2012 when they added calculator to their results and continued in 2014 when google added the answer box. Now, answers were instantly on the first page, and the users could get answers faster. I liken this to when you were a kid and you thought your parents knew everything, and in many cases they had the answer. I don’t really think anyone growing up once they asked their dad a question, they spent the time looking up if they were correct in the Encyclopedia Britannica. In some cases, we asked a teacher other person we held in authority.

So a quick recap, even before the internet people liked asking a question and getting an answer without having to do further work. Now there is the phenomenon that kids start being curious once they start school, but I am not talking about that. At all ages we look at authority and believe they are telling the truth, we trust ‘authority.’ So now we have a search engine that started in 1998 that quickly grew to being the ‘authoritative source’ of information on the internet, and now answers questions. From 2014 on we trust typing in a question to something faceless and believe the answer.

Along comes ChatGPT and other AI tools, which now don’t give alternatives or a list of sites to answer the question but a great sounding answer. Amazingly we type an answer and assume it is ‘correct.’ Like asking our parents when we were 4, ChatGPT answers in a way that sounds correct and is written well enough it appears to be written by another human. But, AI well has nothing to do with “intelligence” right now. They are just trained on lots of data, have a filter so they may or may not go awry (though people have figured out how to get it too) and the ability to respond in an impressive sounding answer.

So, our brain takes the shortcut and ass, then gets a response, and as we did when we were 4, when we were in school, following a GPS off a cliff, googling a question we take the shortcut and assume it is the truth. As humans, maybe we need to learn to challenge answers, use common sense and find trusted sources for the question we are asking. It unfortunately is a lot of work, it means not looking always at the first answer, not looking at only the sources you always go to, and digging and learning more than you might want to. Being a human is actually hard work, and why do our brains take the shortcut, and I do know I have the privilege of being able to think and challenge what I know (due to my upbringing etc. we have discussed this in the past.) I even asked ChatGPT why humans trust them…

Now there are other things that are happening (and will happen) that I won’t get into here but might soon. Sources can be biased by what data they leverage, the algorithm they put in, their desire to have an agenda etc. What is true today, may change tomorrow (answers are different) the words people use can affect your opinion (we discussed this one already.). So yes, being a human is tough, so I expect someone will watch while their AI self-driving car drives off a cliff and will say “The GPS and the AI of the car knows what it is doing…” Hopefully after reading this, you don’t always take the short cut.

Disclaimer 

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain, I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket, my intention is to keep it free.  I do read all feedback, I mostly wont post any of them

This Blog is a labor of love, and was originally going to be a book.  With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web I chose this path.  I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content.  I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip.  I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog. 

Above the normal disclaimer, this does not mean all search engine are bad, or all AI returns bad results, just think about it. And questions it.

In World War II – The US Military examined planes that were coming back for battle and looking at where they were shot. The proposed that they should add additional armor where the plane were hit… But that is incredibly flawed logic. Abraham Wald contradicted the conclusion the US Military came to, stating “you are looking at planes that survived battle… ” The correct thing is to look at planes that were shot down, and figure out why they didn’t make it back. It is adding armor to weak spots should be the correct conclusion.

This is a well documented theory now called “Survivorship Bias”. And the examples of this are used often. I had posted in 2016 about an artist I knew did a lot of work, drafts, versions etc. before the perfect painting was completed. I didn’t really relate this to survivorship bias in the core sense, but it is. So any time you hear a song from a band that hits the charts, see a great painting from an artist what you are seeing is just that. The hundreds of other failures are missing.

This leads me something that I didn’t realize I was doing, and in some cases we see at much larger scale. I have posted for years pictures of my commute by ferry (sunrises and sunsets) – and I often get ‘wow’ that is amazing. Of course I only post the ones that truly are stunning. What most people don’t see, is the 1,000’s of pictures I have taken, sometimes 10-20 in a single commute to get the one picture I post. I have also been taking pictures for years, starting photography when I was a teen (had dark room in my basement) and continuing to explore the hobby all of my life.

Recently, I have seen the growth of people making money on social media (Youtube, FB, Instagram, TikTok) and this notion that there is a “creator economy…” And got me thinking about connecting the dots. Based on what TikTok pays, for a million views you get a whopping $20. I do think Youtube pays more, Twitter doesn’t pay anything yet. But how many people actually are “posting” to these platforms, and how many people are getting enough views to make a living?

What starts popping up now are classes on how to make money making videos on platform x. If you were making enough money doing it, why sell a class? But I also start putting this in perspective, how many high school athletes play college than pro? How many top students get full rides to Ivy schools then make millions? How many garage startups become the next Apple or Google? The odds may be against you, but obviously if you do not take the risk there is no possibility of reward.

There are also people posting about crypto, options trading, beat the stock market memes etc. And showing their ‘accounts’ as proof. They are also ‘selling their formula.’ Not many showing how many times they lose, or there is no one posting on social media a class how they failed at ‘investing’. Now of course there are people who complain, and freak out on their personal posts, but no one offering a class on how to fail. But the success stories (other than the fraud) is more of survivorship bias vs. failures.

When I was growing up, the general statement was “Go to college, get a degree, get a job for life with a pension.” But also note, the same economist that stated that also promoted “Globalization, and moving of low wage manufacturing jobs would raise the level of economic growth of all countries” (This was mostly the excuse for the US to move away from manufacturing to Third World countries and we all would grow, but I guess that should be another conversation) The notion of going to college was based on a chart that people with a ‘Degree’ were higher earners vs those with just a High School Diploma. Is that again a symptom of Survivorship bias?

And lastly, there are a lot of great books written about “how to be successful” by people who were successful. But, looking at many of them, maybe there was more luck than anything (genetics lottery, right place right time etc.) I go back to my simple thought, of being the best Larry Gold I can be, and try to succeed at that. And not chase other people’s success, or think wow just cause so-so is making money on social media that if I just followed those simple steps I will. That a podcast, Youtube, TikTok etc. will suddenly bring me in tons of passive income. I follow my passions in my job, my family, my friends and things I do, and find success in that (and that is my survivorship bias..) Oh and I will post my occasional commute pictures….

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain, I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket, my intention is to keep it free.  I do read all feedback, I mostly wont post any of them

This Blog is a labor of love, and was originally going to be a book.  With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web I chose this path.  I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content.  I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip.  I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog. 

Your favorite baseball/football/hockey or whatever team has been losing for years. The local media says the team has a culture of losing and they need to change it. The locker room needs to bring in someone with winning pedigree to change it. This is something repeated time and time, like its a magic bullet that fixes the problem instantly. If it was that easy, wouldn’t ever team do it?

But what if you want to change the culture of a company. Just go recruit someone from a winning company and presto, your company is instantly successful. I hate to disappoint you, no, that does not work. If you have an example, well, most likely it is a result of survivor bias.

Culture exists on a team or a company for now the what they do, but how they do it. And the longer the “how” is tolerated or rewarded my more ingrained it is in the culture. A single outside voice, no matter how successful is not going turn the ship around.

So how do you change culture? Understand one key, culture exists is that there is “buy in” on the change. In fact it is like a cult, people buy in and then change to fit in. Of course if getting people to buy in, is that easy wouldn’t everyone do it?

If we are saying its a cult, why not look at how cults lure people in:

1. Cults know Humans are ‘pack animals.’ They want to a sense of belonging, a sense of community. Easily picking on people who feel lonely.
2. People also want a sense of purpose. Somehow from a young age we are told we have a destiny, we are here for a reason. Cults sell a purpose of a mission and make you a part of it.
3. They promise you some personal goal, growth, achievement. That by being part of this community you will find self-improvement and enlightenment.
4. They have charismatic leaders. People who can sell ice to eskimos (as they saying goes). People who are down, lonely see this charisma and are attracted to it.
5. They manipulate their disciples. The leaders know human weaknesses, and prey on emotions, mental states of people who if they had a better mindset would not normally be gullable.
6. There is a sense of urgency. This is a big sales tactic. Make someone feel they will miss out.
7. Show off “success” (survivor bias) Everyone here is having a great time, our lives are ‘better’ than yours.

Looking at the list, many of the same tactics are used in Sales. Thing of Amazon showing an item that says “3 Left” — An email saying “our semi-annual sale” which somehow seems to last 6 months at time. Any add showing how your life will be so much better if you just drank their light beer. So these tactics, are not just used for cults, but used in general to convince people to do something, vote some way.

So how do you apply this to change the culture of your team or business.

1. You do need someone who is charismatic. Actually you may need more than one. The larger the organization, the more people you will need to “sell the message”
2. Imply there is a sense of urgency. Is there a competitor that will over take your company, are people’s jobs are the line. There needs to be some idea that the change needs to be now.
3. Find the purpose. And it might be multiple. In larger organizations each different area needs different purposes. I have found this is a challenge, and often the purpose is to work with great people. The work, is secondary.
4. Instead of talking about change, talk about growth. Even the word “better” is difficult, as often people will get defensive about what they do now. But growing personally, and professionally is an easier sell.
5. Find a few people who already bought in, and parade them around as being part of this community. This needs to be people who are seen as leaders, viewed as successful. Build the desire to want to be part of that group. To not be the outsider.

I hold off on manipulation, deprivation etc. Anything done should be done in growth and positives. There are a few differences that I believe companies (and yes teams) needs to also drive.

1. Leaders must lead by example. Any change in culture needs examples, and those who are doing the talking must walk the walk. People can easily spot out those who talk, but do something out. This instantly kills the change.
2. Reward positive behavior. Companies reward the “what” gets done, and ignore the how. And often the how is this negative behavior. If reward is on the bad behavior, it will continue. Recognize people doing the right “how” — and reward them
3. Be patient and persistent. It is not going change overnight. Change may have to start with one smaller group, and show the success and use that as an example.
4. Provide training and development. Emails, or links to ‘videos’ are not going to do it. In person is preferred if possible.
5. Reinforce often. It should be the highlight over and over (repetition till its true)
6. Encourage participation and feedback.
7. Continuously evolve the culture. It will need to change…

This is not a guarantee of success. Culture change is very difficult but it is possible. So maybe trading for someone who is charismatic, and can push a sense of belonging, purpose could change the fortunes of a team.

Disclaimer 

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain, I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket, my intention is to keep it free.  I do read all feedback, I mostly wont post any of them

This Blog is a labor of love, and was originally going to be a book.  With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web I chose this path.  I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content.  I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip.  I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog. 

I am at a NJ Devils game, wearing my team colors as always and sitting with my daughter on one side, but surrounded by fans. Most wearing Jersey’s, t-shirts etc. for the Devils and cheering every good play. The Devils light the lamp (hockey terminology for scoring) everyone screams, and starts giving high fives to the people they came with, then they start doing the same to anyone standing and cheering. A bond is immediately created as we are all rooting for the same team, and with that one thing in common for the 2+ hours the game is going we have new friends.

Another simple example of this, while out shopping for my daughter I notice people were dressed in NJ Devils gear. I asked if they were going to the game tonight, they were. We chatted for a it and then it was “go devils” and we both continued our shopping mission. Again, a simple one thing in common linked by what we were wearing. For those moments we never asked about anything other than our fandom.

But looking back at both incidents I wondered if people knew more about you in an instant would that instant bond work. For example If i was wearing a NJ Devils Jersey and a St Louis Ram hat would either situation be different. Most of the people in the NY/NJ area are fans of say the Giants or the Jets, would the person who sees that suddenly not think we are on the same page due to different “likes.” Say if I wore a political t-shirt instead? What if I wore a Qanon Hat with my Devils shirt. What if I wore a PETA hat with my Devils shirt? Would the person next to me at the game give me a high five? Would the person talk to me while I was shopping.

This thought piggy backs on studies that have been seeing how compassionate people are, or helping someone out. Basically if you thinking about your “football team” and saw someone hurt with another jersey you didn’t help, if you were thinking about the sport football in general, you did help. Aka if your mindset is on something in common you were more compassionate then if not. So what if the signals are mixed. Are you going to high five someone a few days after the election if your candidate lost? And why is it so polarizing, why do we think that we lose ourselves by being friends with someone who has opposing political views.

I wish I could do a study, but I can honestly believe that if I did, I would start a lot of fights. Some how we now believe that people who think differently politically then we do are now ripping at out souls. Worse than any sport rivalry, and worse than Hatfield and McCoys. And I was part of it. There was a time I felt that pressure, to not only push my ideas on others, but if they didn’t agree they were not worth my time.

I am not sure what change, I often think about it and wonder. The first memory of this “world is over” was when Regan won the presidency. Led by MTV and younger opinions that our world would be led into a Nuclear war. Looking back that didn’t happen, it was actually the reverse. Next when Obama was elected there was this push we would all end up in socialism. Strange, did we? Nope. That is not to say either president was perfect and all their policies were wonderful. It was the fear mongering that was worse. The notion that we were not being led by exceptional ideas, but by fear if the other guy won. I once told my dad, that when the vote went to balance the power with the president being democrat and the congress republican I thought Americans got it right. We somehow find ways to mitigate the risk of the far left or the far right from control.

But, now how do we manage to get the fanaticism that we are all humans, have many of the same problems and want the same future (safe, happy, filled with optimism, security) to high five each other as those goals are reached vs. the animosity of the process to get there. I know there is very little agreement on the what we do, and now the how is also questioned, but maybe we need to find ways to try some solutions in smaller areas and learn from failures. The same study that showed fandom leads to helping others that are in your group, that instead of seeing someone with an opposing Jersey the enemy, not a fan of the same football team you are, you see them as a fan of football. We may have many subdivides, but at we all wear one Jersey.

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain, I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket, my intention is to keep it free.  I do read all feedback, I mostly wont post any of them

This Blog is a labor of love, and was originally going to be a book.  With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web I chose this path.  I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content.  I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip.  I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog. 

“Shoes as a source of first impressions,” (2012), Gillath et al. – Is something that I heard for most of my life. In fact when I was younger (in the 70s-80s) kids noticed if you had the latest sneakers. When my daughter was growing up (she is 20 now – do your own math) there was this race to have some of the latest Jordans (yes she was into it) In fact now down at the Jersey Shore outlets there is a store that sells hard to find Jordans ad ridiculous prices. A friend knowing I am a hacking geek recently asked me could I write something so once he gets an alert that it could go to the nike site, buy the shoes faster than humans can click.

As a kid I guess I got into it, but somehow this pushed into adulthood. During my younger years I was told to be a success you need to first get a great pair of shoes, it was the first thing people notice. And in dating, there are articles that tell women to look at a persons shoes, and in their apartment if they use milk crates as shelves. All of these make me wonder, is there real research behind that? Or is it just some filtering that is all about money? Do you actually need to look rich and successful to be rich and successful.

Ok so maybe its a subset of “dress for the job you want…” which all sounds good until you show up at work dressed like Gene Simmons from KISS. Or maybe the people at footlocker want to all be referees? Ok, back to reality, the challenge with hearing these comments, is it sounds like success if it is not about a meritocracy but more about looking the right part.

I was fortunate I chose to be in IT – and well according to movies we all were overweight, dressed like slobs, and don’t know how to brush our own hair. Even working at a fortune 500 company – where when I started we had to dress up dress down Fridays kicked in. Then it kinda grew from there. Covid seemed to make it now so that WFH changed all dress code rules recently. But back to reality, the dress at some offices have gone a bit more casual over the years.

To me I started to wonder, maybe that rule is actually the opposite. Are people dressing up cause they are successful or want to be? Are they dressing up cause there is some deficiency or not as good as others. Will dressing up get them promoted vs the person who adds value for the company. Telling an impressionable 20 something year old at their first job is supposed to make them conform? It is strange that this is a piece of advice we give new employees vs. learn how to add value

So what does this have to do with shoes/sneakers. To me, after years of wrecking my ankles, what I need more than anything is a sneaker that is comfortable and has support (the right arch.). I found a brand, and fortunately they not only have outlet stores but also discount often online. In fact not only do I have a brand, I have ordered 3 pairs of the same sneaker for about 3 years now (when they start to completely wear out) . Lucky they have not been discontinued completely. They actually updated them, but I think it was just a new name and same sneaker. Now 3 pairs have cost me about $100. I have been doing this for 30 years. And honestly I don’t care they are not the latest, greatest thing. The support me, feel comfortable and my feet do not hurt at the end of the day. And at the price, once they wear out, i replace them quickly.

The question is have I ever been not promoted, rejected by some girl, or other wise lost success due to my choices, well I have no idea. And honestly I do not seem to worry about it at all. In fact maybe its the opposite, sometimes I see someone with overpriced shoes I start wondering what are they trying to hide. What deficiency are they making up for. So enjoy the most comfortable shoes you can wear, wear them with pride and add value, if you want to succeed and the company you work for is selecting the better dressed person, you are at the wrong place.

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain, I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket, my intention is to keep it free.  I do read all feedback, I mostly wont post any of them

This Blog is a labor of love, and was originally going to be a book.  With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web I chose this path.  I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content.  I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip.  I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog. 

My job is mostly to manage multiple teams and get them to perform above the sum of the parts. There are times I have succeeded and times I have said to myself “that didn’t work …. try something else.” Of course the search for the something else has me googling (or duckduckgo if thats you) to see what others did. Sometimes it entails me taking a course (like one this summer on Agile Coaching.). As part of the self training there was a video on why SNL was such a success. There was the notion that everyone had a say, and you had to speak up and be listened to.

But I started thinking, what does that actually mean? And is there something deeper to just being heard. Of course that same week for some dumb reason in my Youtube what to watch next was a VH1 Behind the music. I thought simply, wow I know that story (without watching it) that band fought a lot, but were so creative. Then I started thinking about a lot of bands, made me most of them have conflicts, and did that conflict add to their music creativity.

The Beatles, Eagles, Pink Floyd, Fleetwood Mac, Heart, Guns N’ Roses, Black Crowes, Motley Crue, Van Halen, Poison, The Police, Meatloaf/Jim Stienman, the Go-Gos, Beach Boys, Kinks, Everly Brothers, Journey, Styx, Kiss, Twisted Sister, Genesis, Asia, Aerosmith, Yes, Bon Jovi…. I think I could go on and on. Sorry if I am only naming bands in my era, but those are who I know. Yes I dating myself but did the conflict drive their creativity. In some cases the creativity was there and conflict came later (Beatles) and in other cases the creativity was with an outside writer and conflict came later (Bon Jovi.)

I dug into a few of the stories, and think the reader should also. But a list of examples of success with conflict doesn’t mean the finding conflict guarantees success. So often you wonder where does conflict come from. Conflict often comes from the diversity of thought. If two people disagree (diversity of thought) a few things can happen. Either they can resolve it, or it can escalate. So I start asking myself maybe its the diversity of thoughts that drive creativity.

When you start listening to bands talk about their song writing process a story goes something like this “So and So comes in with a rif, or a progression and then I follow up with something to add to it”. So two thoughts, possibly different but instead combined start the creative process. Now, of course when you watch a TV show about a band or an interview the musicians say these things, they are giving the positive spin on it. You have no idea if there was a fight, argument etc. and it sounds like the SNL theory on teams. If member of the bad get a say, the creativity blossoms.

Of course when the band spills into total conflict they collapse. On SNL they had Lorne Michaels who was the friendly dictator (to use open source terminology) who kept the team going. So this made me look at my role, or the role of management. If creativity comes from diverse thought and diverse thought needs to be managed not to turn into conflict is a team leaders role to obtain diversity and control conflict?

I learned from previous managers that the to success of a team was that a manager would need to get the obstacles out of your employees way so they are productive. There is two obstacles I now need to ensure that are out of my teams way, the first is to put my employees in a situation where everyone feels comfortable to speak up (diversity of thought) and lastly to prevent conflict of people willing to speak up. Another tool to add to my toolkit.

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain, I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket, my intention is to keep it free.  I do read all feedback, I mostly wont post any of them

This Blog is a labor of love, and was originally going to be a book.  With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web I chose this path.  I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content.  I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip.  I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog. 

I have written previously about my mom’s mom (Grandma Betty) and her theory about eating dessert first. So i should write about my Grandpa (Al.). He outlived her by years, but its a lesson we learned after he passed that was interesting.

Of course I can’t need to get right to the point of the story, if you were expecting a one sentence blog you have not been reading my stuff very long. But first some background, my grandparents both escaped Nazi Germany and made it to the US. They settled in the Weequahic area of Newark NJ. From my memory my grandparents opened a corner grocery store/deli. My grandfather could slice lox like no one else.

He invested his money in apartments and when he retired he was able to live off the rents. (Financial advice from my grandfather there) and moved to Union NJ. I grew up in Clark, not that far way, but going there on weekends for dinner the drive felt like it took forever. (The way there was better cause I was getting dessert see other post) But as you get older what I started learning – is that you need something to do.

I have written before that I believe everyone needs and outlet, but more than that we often have reasons to get up in the morning. These include stuff like work, activities, house work (doesn’t clean itself), errands, to-do list etc. But once goes away what do you do, for now my grandpa had the apartments (dealing with renters, the building etc.) and that kept him very busy. But at some point my parents had to take that over as he was getting too old.

Well to our surprise after he passed we needed to clean up his place, and found lots of the usual things. My cousin Guy took his tools (weighed a ton in the suitcase) and there were pictures, family things etc. We had moved him to a smaller place so we thought there would not be a surprise. Well look below:

Well yes we found some of these – S&H Green stamps, cause like everyone had those. But that was not the interesting ones.

What we found above is coupon bonds. Please note, this is an image from the internet, not the exact bonds that we found. We found all different ones, marked different dates etc. I started to wonder why, because by that time the 1990s they definitely were not the norm. In fact, most people saw them as a hassle, you need to go to the bank and give them a coupon, and get your money. Vs have that money just added to your investment account.

Well, that we the genius of my grandpa Al, he actually had so many of them he needed to go to the bank often. This is what kept him going, he had something to do, somewhere to go, people to see. I honestly can’t remember when I went to a bank, and do physical banking. Everything is online, or via teller. Something that added human interaction has become automated and cold. (But I guess that will be another blog post.).

What is going to be my coupon bonds when I get older, what is going to be the thing that gets me up in the morning, seeing the same faces and giving me human interaction. I never realized it, but pre-covid my parents (now semi-retired cause my daddy likes working) do things to keep them going. Between my dad gambling (though not big money,) going to see live music, going out to restaurants etc. They had the things that gave them a reason to get up.

Now I am not ready to retire, far from it. But I need to find the things that will do it, I guess I will let you know, but until then I will continue to learn from the wisdom of the elders.

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain, I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket, my intention is to keep it free.  I do read all feedback, I mostly wont post any of them

This Blog is a labor of love, and was originally going to be a book.  With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web I chose this path.  I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content.  I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip.  I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog. 

If you don’t know who Van Halen is (yeah I am sure there are some millennials going who the hell are they.. They may be the rock band that single handedly killed disco. And if you don’t know what disco is.. just stop reading right now. Van Halen’s debut album was release on Feb 10th 1978, and instantly in the middle of Saturday Night Fever the music world would never be the same. Rock was back, and what brought it back was a guitar Virtuoso named Eddie Van Halen. The songs were hard enough to bring out the rock enthusiasts, pop enough to be on the radio (no 21 minute Yes songs) and blew everyone away with their musicianship that was missing for a few year.

As the years went by Van Halen climbed the music ladder to be one of the best selling bands and performers. And on January 9th, 1984 with the release of the album titled “1984” the help of a MTV (when they played music) they were on top of the world. The band was known for crazy antics, lots of drugs and MTV was more the willing to let the world know what they were up to. Kurt Loder reported that backstage the band didn’t want any brown M&Ms in their bowl. People were laughing at the absurdity of it and how privileged they were. As a teen it was “in” to make fun of it, and also envious that they were so big that such a request could be made, and followed.

As you get older you actually understand why they did this, and the lesson learned by the genius behind the request. They wrote a long involved contract with over 150 different requests, some like food, some for safety, some for comfort etc. and buried in the list was one line about M&Ms with the Warning (in caps) No Brown M&Ms. Well for the band to know if the promoter/venue read and the contract they could just check the M&M bowl and they know all the other requests were followed. No need to check all of the items. If there were brown M&Ms, then they wonder what else did they not do. Amazingly simple way to check of someone read the contract and did what they asked.

What should we learn from this and how to apply it in life. In my early days of IT there were documents that were called Business Requirements Documents (BRDs) and they were often incredibly long. Large teams would have to read them and review to make sure they were accurate as often they took months/years to write and cost companies a lot to do. Well how do you know if someone read them, you sneak in a clause like “This document is copyrighted by the NFL for the private use of our audience. Any other use of the document or any of its pictures, descriptions, or accounts of this project without the NFL’s consent is prohibited.” Thus it was easy to figure out who read and didn’t read the document.

But now in the age of Agile how do you do it? (or in other things that are not long documents)

• Hide a crazy User Story in the backlog – if the business really reviewed them and prioritized them they would get a good laugh.
• Put acceptance criteria that does not make sense so your developer has read it
• Make sure everyone in the room gets to speak. (Google about SNL and successful teams)
• Send out the agenda with an easter egg in it (something to get a good laugh)
• Get the idea? Be Creative….

Once people know things things are in there, they are listened to etc. it become a search for them to see who finds it first. Don’t make it so often that it becomes the only thing people look and care about, but enough to make sure people are doing their job. It is much better than having to sit behind people and watch them read documents one at a time.

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain, I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket, my intention is to keep it free.  I do read all feedback, I mostly wont post any of them

This Blog is a labor of love, and was originally going to be a book.  With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web I chose this path.  I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content.  I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip.  I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog. 

This is a question that comes up a bunch of times… I personally have used it in a team setting as one of those Ice Breaker questions, or team building scenarios. And I get some great answers “Don’t sweat the small stuff” “Challenge yourself more” “Take more risks” “Ask that person out” “Don’t be afraid” etc. But I started thinking about how I answered a simple question and why the question was even to someone so young.

That question is “What do you want to be when you grow up?” At a young age you do not have enough experience, seen enough of the world to have a clue. You hear common answers from kids Fireman, Police, Doctor, Athlete or some answer what their parents do. But why are we so focused on making a child answer such a question without knowing what the world has to offer. A child should be curious, should be asking questions, should be a sponge to absorb information. Making them pick a direction seems counterproductive. So asking them to figure it out now, you possibly limit them and don’t invoke their true imagination.

And why do we need a child to define his or her life by an occupation? Wouldn’t it be better if a child responded that he or she wants to be a philanthropist when they grow up. Just thinking my occupation does not define who I am, it is just something I do. I have written before about what I carry in my wallet, a small note that says “My name is Larry Gold, and I make a living being myself” – And what defines me should be the following

• How Well I Treat others
• What I give back to this world
• The strength of my character
• The values I keep
• The desire to constantly get better

So what I would tell myself when ever asked “What do you want to be when I grow up?” – The answer should be “A good person who is happy and has left this place better than I found it” – My occupation “Make a living being myself”

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain, I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket, my intention is to keep it free.  I do read all feedback, I mostly wont post any of them

This Blog is a labor of love, and was originally going to be a book.  With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web I chose this path.  I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content.  I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip.  I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog.