Category: Uncategorized (Page 5 of 11)

As I get older I noticed something, the days seem to go by slow and the years are going by fast. It seemed like yesterday the kids were toddlers, and today well they are almost 20. I really started to think about why that happens. And without my kids knowing what I was doing I asked them some questions, and realized they seem to think the days go by fast, and the years slow. Just like I thought.

So I wanted to know why, and came up with my thoughts. Please note, I did not do any experiments, talk to 100s of people to see what they thought but just something I see in myself.

When you are young, there are dozens of milestones that are years (1-2-3 etc.) away, as you get older those milestones seem to go away. When you are younger, things like your first birthday, first day of Pre-k/K, first day of first grade, first day of middle school, getting to be “10,” becoming a teen (13), first day of high school, sweet 16, drivers license (17 for me in NJ), getting to be an adult (18), being 20 (no longer a teen) and then 21 (drinking age) and other things may include going to college (or trade school) getting that first career job, finding your soul mate, moving into your first “own” place and possibly starting your own family. This is a whole bunch of things that happen between when you are born to sometime in your are in your 20s. Look there can be dozens more depending on location, background, religion, race, family values etc. For example in many areas of the US getting your first car is big, but some people in other areas don’t even want to drive. What happens when you are passed all that, your milestones seem to be closer to retiring.

So mentally what I believe is that your mind sees a milestone that is a year or two away. That anticipation of wanting to reach that goal so quickly you feel those years go so slow. Your desire to want to get there so quickly, it seems so far away. Your can’t wait, and when you can’t wait for something it just seem it is taking forever. Funny we have some of these micro “goals” in a day and have these tricks our mind plays on us. Say you go to a restaurant and you are told the wait is about 20 minutes. If you are starving that 20 minutes feels like an hour, if you are not that hungry it doesn’t seem that long.

As I think about it even more, there are probably a ton of these smaller ones as a young kid, like first dance, holidays etc. that get you so excited and you can’t wait for the event. But it is your brain that is making you think about time differently. The length of a second, minute, hour, day and year have not changed. Our perception of the days and the years that are different.

Having kids I also think changes your perception. You always hear someone say “they grow up so fast” and having two girls I can say the same. But being a kids once before I heard my kids say the same things I did like “I can’t wait till this year is over,” “I can’t wait till I drive” and the worst on “I can’t wait till I am an adult.”

I thought about the can’t wait till the year is over, and it really is about school. Kids of the summer off, thus getting to the part of the year where there is no school is the long wait. Actually any wait for a long break is something kids also mention often. As an adult most jobs do not have a break, we work all year long. Of course we have some holidays and vacation (note i know everyone doesn’t get those perks) but at the end of the day we don’t have “yearly” breaks. So this is kinda like the restaurant, they want no school and its this anticipation the brain perceives as taking a long time.

Of course what kids do not realize is that their desire to become an adult they do not get that time off and they will not enjoy the length of the year. That same theory for the kids also goes to why kids think summer goes fast, and everyone thinks their favorite season goes so fast. It is also why some people like me who are not fans of the winter think it goes by slow.

In my office we often hear the statement that perception equals reality. So if you think the years are going by slow, well they are, and at my age as I think the years are flying by, well they are also. But at least now I think I understand what happened to me when I was young, and now as I am older why my years seem to fly by.

As and Adult, the look forward is not time/date set, or its a long time off. Retirement is also not a set date (like sweet 16, or HS graduation) – So these really long targets don’t seem to be in our heads. I do think that waiting for out kids milestones should have some entry into our brain, but its not the same. The anticipation is just not the same when it is for someone else. Thought in my situation I could not wait for the kids to have the ability to drive to help out.

Other milestones like promotions at work, changing jobs, kids getting married, being a grandparent, getting the first AARP membership invite (for some reason it seems earlier and earlier age wise) – getting a Sr discount is not things that are 1-2 years away. Our brains don’t have that milestone so close we think it takes forever.

I have heard that people think it is because at age 5 that 1 day is a larger percentage of you life than 50. But although I can sorta except that as a reason, I don’t think that plays as much as the anticipation. Our perception of time is fascinating to me, and hope this gets you to think about time, and try not to waste any of it. And yes, the perception doesn’t change the reality that a second is the same for the total of your life.

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain, I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket, my intention is to keep it free.  I do read all feedback, I mostly wont post any of them

This Blog is a labor of love, and was originally going to be a book.  With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web I chose this path.  I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content.  I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip.  I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog.

I got the iphone in October 2007. Yeah, I didn’t get it first and most people would think I am the “have to get the first tech thing” kinda guy. Well, once I got it I thought it was going to be life changing. But it wasn’t. I was demoing all the cool things I could do with it and a friend asked me if it makes calls I responded “I haven’t tried yet…”

But so much for memory lane. The phone didn’t really change my life, not till years later when it became more popular and apps started coming around. Then came “alerts.” Well alerts were like the neatest thing. I could know when I got an email, a text, or anything. Well the ADD person inside of me got a dopamine hit when this happened.

Now years later if left to everything alerting me, my phone would buzz constantly and the dopamine would blow whatever hair is left on my head off. Between social media, email, texts, dating apps, workout apps, podcast, streaming media apps, shopping apps, my home automation apps I can tape my phone to a glass of milk with some U-bet chocolate syrup and get chocolate milk in no time. Shaken not stirred..

I wondered what all these alerts are doing to me. Do these short term hits affect my job, my relationships, my family? Do I spend time thinking how to get a hit? Is this a relationship between other kinds of addiction (drugs/alcohol etc.) and the dopamine from alerts. And if there is, are only certain people affected by it? Am I ?

Then I started wondering what effect this has on my kids. They have grown up in a world where this was the dopamine hit they would get. They are not getting it from person to person interactions. In fact their person to person interactions are waiting for alerts or likes. At one point there even was a company that rated how important you were and gave you a “klout” score based on the likes/followers you had.

Well with all that on my head, i figured i would post the thought on facebook and see how many people like it. NOT. I wrote it here, more to get my thoughts out on paper. And wonder what I can do not to fall into the trap. And what do I say to my kids about the trap. I think social media has some great things, texting is fun, etc. But humans are social creatures, and a visit with some close friends reminds me of it. During times of covid people may have lost that interaction, and found the dopamine hit. But that does not match the feeling of seeing someone in person, having a great conversation and hearing the elation in their voice.

I know I use texts, probably too much. But I often do it as the ADD in me multitasks a lot. I wonder if it is an excuse to get a free dopamine hit? But hopefully when Covid is over I will go back to doing things with other people. Not sure I will talk on the phone as the last time I called a friend we were on for 2 hours. And often when i call someone its a long chat, and sometimes I just don’t have the time for that. But seeing someone in person gives them the time, which is your most valuable asset.

I probably can’t get rid of my phone, as how would I text someone to tell them I want to meet them anyway. Well back to posting some funny meme to get a like on instagram and facebook, we will chat later.

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain, I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket, my intention is to keep it free.  I do read all feedback, I mostly wont post any of them

This Blog is a labor of love, and was originally going to be a book.  With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web I chose this path.  I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content.  I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip.  I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog.

Almost everyone I know uses Google search engine, yeah the geek friends I have use duck duck go, but most everyone is so lazy not to change the default on their browser and for most of us its google. But I am going to ask you a question, how many times have you gone past the first page on a search? How many times do you even click on a link? According to this https://sparktoro.com/blog/less-than-half-of-google-searches-now-result-in-a-click/ – the answer is many don’t even click.

Now the article talks a lot about the google algorithm, and how the rankings work but I have a different worry. Think about how you have used google, how many times have you googled “weather” – and google responds with the weather for the next 10 days. What about a sports score, it ends up right there for you. In fact there are dozens of searches that google returns results for that you don’t need to click on the link. While this is an impressive feat, there might be something else happening.

Your brain starts to trust google results. The more you use it for these simple tasks that google can do well, the more you trust the results without questioning it, or checking other sources. I would call this the Linus Pauling effect. Side bar Linus Pauling was an American chemist who won the Nobel Prize in chemistry 2x. People though he was a genius so when he started claiming Vitamin C would cure everything from the common cold to cancer, people believed him. He actually died of cancer, but all of his claims were proved wrong. But people believed him cause he was so smart.

Well you start to believe google, well because you think it is so smart. But what if you ask it something that is not so black and white? What if you are not asking it what something that can be returned in a coded answer? Say you ask something like what happened before the big bang? or something like what tastes better thin crust pizza or thick crust pizza? Or what is the best way to lose weight? Or What to do when you are feeling depressed?

If you trust google so much, you might look at the first answer to these questions. Or click on the first link. At that point you might not realize either an ad or googles “formula” will be what you click on. Is this the best answer? Does google always have the right information? Are other search engines better?

Let start with google is a public company, their mission (as they put it) is to organize the worlds information. Of course being a company they are in business to make money. So they need to monetize searches. Now a computer may execute the search, but humans have written the algorithm that have multiple goals. First obviously, is to get a good answer for the user, but second to get a good response for the advertisers. Google has done a good job about managing these competing options. If thy were bad at it, then users would leave and go to bing or other engine.

Now the Post office is a company that fails at this. The two goals the post office has to deliver mail, and second to make money. In doing the second their biggest source of funding is junk mail. Well people hate mail because of the sheer amount of junk mail they get. Do you like google or the USPS as a brand? Thought so.

Let us go back to the original point. If you trust google, is that trust warranted and are they betraying your trust? As we said they are a business, and although we would hope companies have a moral compass, sometimes profit comes before the moral compass. It is on us, the users to know what is happening. We need to read the pay, and make a choice of which link is and “Ad” or a calculated bias and find the right answer. Or we need more users to setup alternate search engines, or even alternate browsers. Adam Grant once said more successful people use chrome, but now I think chrome is ubiquitous, its more like those who use brave etc. are the people who go out of their way.

But we need to challenge google, like we challenge anyone who acts in authority. We really don’t want to be in a situation where the Linus Pauling effect is taking over our lives.

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain, I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket, my intention is to keep it free.  I do read all feedback, I mostly wont post any of them

This Blog is a labor of love, and was originally going to be a book.  With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web I chose this path.  I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content.  I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip.  I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog.

I look around and there are lots of people who write blogs and musing get famous, get a ted talks, and have their own youtube channels. Well I guess I would have to make a youtube video instead of just writing to have my own channel, but no one is clamoring for any of it, in fact I don’t have more than a few friends asking me to write more. Ok So I do not buy Adwords from search, I don’t have a big social media presence. But my ADD is taking over and I should get back to the topic at hand.

I have been writing and posting for years and wondering if I have gotten good at it, or at least got better. That what I write touches a chord, makes a difference, or even gets someone to think. When I started writing It was to get some personal stories out, then it transformed to really brain dump of things in my head. I stated in another blog I write to have a hobby thats is my outlet (non-paid) and its also theraputic.

I started to take stock as I was discussing with my management team about building a good team you need to make them feel like they are making a difference. So I started to think am I making a difference with this and if not what is my motivation to keep writing. So my secondary motivation is to get better at writing, better at expressing myself and better at getting my point across. Well how do you get feedback, or even rate one article vs another. It is not like a sport where you can look at the scoreboard and see who won. Wow, the last article only had three dangling participles vs the first one had 7 that is 2 extra points.

So how do I know, and how many do I have to write till get to the goal. And what is the goal. Then I thought what if there is no finish line for this, there is no “wow I am done…” point. That this is a journey, and there there is no end goal other than to improve how I communicate, document my thoughts and not worry about comparing one post to another. The more I write the better I would get if I did not write at all. The people who get better at something are not always the people with the most natural talent, but the people willing to practice and do something, not the people who read on how to do something. I realized the fear of me not doing has to be greater from the fear of it not being good. And people who are willing to be game changers, people we see famous (bezos, musk, jobbs, etc.) fear of failure was supplanted by the fear of not doing something.

Hope this one helps you think about what you are afraid to do, and pushes your fear of not doing something to be stronger so you go out and do it.

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain, I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket, my intention is to keep it free.  I do read all feedback, I mostly wont post any of them

This Blog is a labor of love, and was originally going to be a book.  With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web I chose this path.  I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content.  I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip.  I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog.

If you know me personally you know my love of live music. I will anything from local acts at some small venue to national acts at stadiums. I prefer not to go to stadiums with crowds etc. but that is not what this story is about. In the 80s I was fortunate to go see a few concerts, like many kids we stood in line at some local record story that had a ticketmaster machine and waiting outside in line to get them. If there was a hot act, they often gave wrist bands out to get tickets. And get this you got physical tickets (iphone didnt exist.)

I won’t mention the act, but is was one of these Arena shows (at the time the local arenas were the Brendan Byrne Arena or Madison Square Garden. Living in central jersey it was easier to get to MSG as it was an easy train ride. Well we got are tickets, took the train ride to the city, walked around the Arena saw a bunch of trucks and a few tour busses. Teams of people setup the stages, get their food, organize their day etc. Its like a small moving city to get this band on tour. We get in to watch, always going early. Dozens of people walking across the stage etc. Well the show was fantastic.

Not that many years later, the same band is on tour. But this time playing a local venue. For those who lived in central jersey at the time, it was Club Bene (Joe Beninato was a great guy, but thats a story for another time.) Well this time no multiple trucks or giant tour busses, no entourage building the stage etc. I saw the musicians setting up their own equipment. The show was even better than the MSG one, well sitting in one of the front row tables helps) – but they were tight, played with fantastic energy etc.

After the show, well the musicians were breaking down their rigs. I felt bad for the dummer and the keyboard player, definitely had more to do than the bass player/singer. Well after the show I go chit chat with the band, cause I saw them there. I mentioned I saw them at the Arena tour also, the laughed and said that was a fun tour. After talking the seemed incredibly happy to still be playing live, thought the crowd was fantastic and I seemed to be in shock. To me, they were playing arenas one minute, a club of 1500 next.

That night I came to the realization. The tractor trailer, giant tour busses, entourage, the stage setup etc. all of that really was not for them. It was for the popularity of the band, it was for the place and time they were in. They were most likely bar musicians before this, and now playing just bigger bars. But in the end, they are just regular people. And they understood this. They love fans, playing for 15,000 or 150. They didn’t care. So I learned that respect you, perks you get may not be for you, it may be for the position you hold. At the end of the day treat everyone from the janitor thru the CEO the same, with respect.

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain, I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket, my intention is to keep it free.  I do read all feedback, I mostly wont post any of them

This Blog is a labor of love, and was originally going to be a book.  With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web I chose this path.  I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content.  I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip.  I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog.

It is a question I pondered a lot. I wonder why I took my current Company (2004 – leaving Merrill Lynch for Morgan Stanley) why I took my current Role (Head of Corporate Tax Technology) and why I work at all. I ask my question is the reward (compensation and non-compensation) the work I do. Simple answer if it wasn’t I wouldn’t be there, probably would have left long ago. But notice I put both types of rewards. But do you question why you work?

For me it has to go back to how I was brought up. I have mentioned time and time again, I am the definition of white privilege. I had two working parents, middle class in a town that was a bubble. And watching my parents work, I learned different things from both of them as they both looked at work differently and somewhat the same. I saw the notion of wanting to change the world, wanting to make a difference balanced with the need to provide for your family. And that often the cost of wanting to provide some advantages/or necessity seemed to be a stretch.

After my upbringing, then it came to the society I was brought up in. I was born in 1967 – so my teen years were mostly the 80s (The last great decade, the decade of me… how ever you want to put it) This was a time of prosperity. But in the town I was brought up in, and the era we lived the way I saw Darwinism was that it was money that drove the world around. That with money not only defined success, but also was the change agent, it is what made a difference. It was having the nice car, or donating to causes that needed it.

It is strange that Humans are the only animals that put faith in an abstract concept (money) and tie it to physical manifestation (dollars etc.) We also put arbitrary values on items, and change the cost depending on who is buying, where they are buying etc. If you can feed someone in Africa for $9 a month are we being overcharged for groceries in NJ? It is a humorous thought, but it is a part of the reality we live in.

But back to why I work.. When I first started working, it was because money seemed to be the driver of the world. And although I have written a blog about what do you want to be remembered for, and the charities I spend time/money on, I am talking about the teenage me. My parents instilled the notion of the value of a dollar, and would not buy me everything I wanted, and after I ran up some bills, I had to pay them. But I wanted certain things (nicer car stereo, new synth, computer stuff etc.) and went to work for them. This created my personal value, but I didn’t see it that way.

I never stopped working, but some of my thoughts why I did work started to change. I enjoyed going to concerts, working out at a gym etc. And all these things cost. But then came I wanted to be like my parents and support my family. I took some bigger risks in jobs, switching a few times eventually landing up at Merrill Lynch. I never knew what my true Value was, I just getting increase in Salary as I changed jobs and accepted the offer as is. I was slowly making enough in my head to afford the house/kids and the American dream.

While at Merill Lynch I discovered a few things. Though we work for a paycheck and it was allowing me to buy a condo, pay bills have extra etc. I didn’t find going to work wonderful for those reasons. I found it slowly was the people that I worked with that made the difference. And building a good team to work with was worth more than the compensation. Wanting to go to work, not for the paycheck, and not for whatever we were building, but with a team that could build anything. One day some genius manager decided our team was so good we should be split up and maybe other teams we join would be just as good.

I left soon after, to join a friend who was at another company. Again to go work with people that I wanted to be around. I have managed and run several teams at my current company. And each time I feel frustrated with the job, I focus on this lesson, build the right team and what can’t be done, is doable. I learned to surround myself with people who don’t say “It can’t be done” but people who say I will try. I lay out expectations for my team, and getting your code completed is not even in the top 5. The first one, enjoy your job and come in with a positive attitude. The second one ask for help, and give help when asked.

The best feedback I get is from people who used to work for me telling me how they take the ideas they learned from me and apply it to their current role. Which goes back to why I work. I work because I think I can help change people one person at. a time, to enjoy what they do, not cause what they do is great, but they work with a great set of people. A team they would spend time outside their job with, a team that would be there when anything goes wrong and help. I work where I work because the place gives me the ability to build the team. And when I switch roles, it is about making that new team enjoy working together. The side benefit is that I can support my family (and it is a great side.).

I keep thinking I should write a book on how I manage. Because the funny thing about jobs is they take the best people and make them managers. Just ask how many Stanley Cups Wayne Gretsky (the greatest player) won as a coach (zero.). But I’ll leave that for another time. Right now the take away is not about managing, but whatever role or job you are doing, is working with the best people you can find. The rest will fall into place. “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with” … Jim Rohn

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain, I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket, my intention is to keep it free.  I do read all feedback, I mostly wont post any of them

This Blog is a labor of love, and was originally going to be a book.  With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web I chose this path.  I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content.  I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip.  I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog.

One of the best conversations I hear is all about section 230. Let start with what section 230 says

“No provider or user of an interactive computer service shall be treated as the publisher or speaker of any information provided by another information content provider” 

This of course was based on laws previously that absolved phone companies from crimes. For example, if I use the phone to call you, and plan a crime no one can sue Verizon saying that they are responsible as we could not plan the crime without the phones. Well obviously, Verizon (please note I don’t own the stock, and I am no way promoting or disparaging Verizon.). The goal was to protect public conversation. Basically if 230 does not exists people are afraid to host (not protected.). 230 allows moderation (without having to get rid of everything)

WIth 230 ISP (people who host/carry internet traffic) as well as web sites/applications are not responsible for the content. This allowed companies like reddit, facebook, instagram, youtube etc. to create a platform for creators or anyone who wants to author content now can get their word out. But this also allowed a blog like this to have comments without being worried what I would be responsible. If someone sued me I probably could not defend myself as the costs would be too high.

Before these platforms (and the internet) there were gatekeepers and editors who did the moderation, this is old media (newspapers ,radio and TV.). The platforms also created ways to get the content to a wider audience, and the platforms desire to draw audience used algorithms to direct its users to content they think is interesting. These algorithms are written by humans (so let us not pretend they are independent) and are done to create “engagement” which equates to more time on the platform which equals more profit. This is no more than news catering to their audience etc. all so be able to sell advertising.

There is some great discussions about whether these algorithms have created militants, terrorists, extremist etc. I listened to a podcast that argued both sides, and research about people who were moved to an extreme via “youtube” videos. That the recommendation engine was the root cause of their conversion. To me both sides have points, and I left not knowing which is right. But digging into these algorithms I find myself looking at what youtube recommends and often is has some basis of what i have watched (lots of concerts, some podcasts etc.). I can see that the recommendations if you search for one extreme view can lead you to others. But alas you have to start searching for it.

Mike Elgan on “this week in google” made comments that these algorithms ask as an amplifier. And that it is not the poster of content that really is at fault, but the algorithms that push it out. For example I can post an Anti-vax video (please not I am not Anti-vax) and the platform based on its algorithm can find people who might be sympathetic and this video may convince them. Note the users didn’t at the moment search Anti-vax, it showed up in their feed. So the algorithm is amplifying this incorrect statement and causing others see my point of view versus what is reality.

I can understand the argument, it make sense on the surface and could force platforms to write better algorithms, but it also maybe a problem. This gets to the notion of having curated content. Whereas the newspaper, tv and radio were the gatekeepers before, we saw the world as they wanted. Now it will be the world the way the algorithms (again written by humans) would be filtering what they think. Probably not the all inclusive answer, but could be part of the situation.

There is the notion that crowd sourcing should do this. Aka the masses basically filter it themselves and the cream will ride to the top, and the bad stuff will go to the abyss. This is also tough, it does allow things that mass media and others hid, its not like we were not racist before the internet, it was just less visible, but humans can game that system. Just look at times that people have an “internet vote.” One of the classics is when John Scott got voted into the NHL all star game. He then ended up being MVP in a feel good story, but it seemed more of a joke that he got in.

So funny humans game a known system (vote) and also try to game algorithms, so how do you fix the internet. Maybe the question should be how to we fix ourselves. It is not the internet nor the rules that are broken, but more how do we work on being better human beings. Our problems existed before the internet, the internet just bubbled it to the service. I am not saying we should become policing of others, nor should we act always in “cancel culture,” but more we should look at ourselves, and of course our kids and work to end the problems. Don’t teach hate, racism, learn to understand that science isn’t perfect (but listen to it,) chose to read items that don’t confirm our biases and learn empathy for people are not like you. Yes, this answer is not a law, it’s not a pill, it won’t happen overnight, but our problems didn’t happen over night and blaming anyone but ourselves won’t solve it. This blog has always been about getting better yourself, and this problem is one that follows that pattern. Altering 230 won’t make the evil we see disappear, it will just shift it..

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain, I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket, my intention is to keep it free.  I do read all feedback, I mostly wont post any of them

This Blog is a labor of love, and was originally going to be a book.  With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web I chose this path.  I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content.  I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip.  I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog.

What is strange is during the 2020-early 2021 there is a lot of talk about reducing risk, the odds of getting covid etc. It brings me back to another question I was once asked a few years ago. My wife passed away in May of 2017, she was in great shape, worked out pretty much daily, ate healthy to a fault. Though the root cause was never determined, the best guess was she had an electrical heart issue. I was asked “do you think it is worthwhile eating healthy and exercising if you can just die over night.” I had to think about this…

The knee jerk reaction was no, why bother and all permutations of that. But after thinking I responded with “Maybe it was her exercising and eating habits that kept her alive longer than she would have if she didn’t.” Which lead to an interesting conversation, with uncertainty of how she passed its hard to answer what the correct answer is. But it got me into thinking about playing the percentages.

There are percentages like someone winning the 1 billion dollar lottery (Jan 22nd 2021 one person in Michigan did) and being so lucky vs. something like having the 1 car in 100 of a quality brand car that is defective. If you are really risk adverse you buy the highest rated car in quality, but there is a chance you get the lemon. Obviously you have less chance winning the lottery. But its playing the percentages, and getting lucky or unlucky is just that.

By eating healthy and exercising you are playing the percentages and doing your job to extend your life the best you can. By purchasing the best car, your are playing the percentages that you will not pay a lot for repairs. And all we can do is pay the percentages and do the best we can, sometimes the odds wont fall in our favor. And if you are willing to take the risk, it might work out. Look i know I lot of people with Range Rovers and Jeeps (the worst rated for repairs) and don’t have issues, but the percentages says there are people with toyota’s and honda’s with less chance of issues. The question is what risk are you willing to take.

There is a pitfall not to fall in. This is the “one bad experience of a random stranger”. This is when you are at a car lot, you found the car you picked out has the least TCO, and while at the lot there is a guy screaming that the car is a piece of crap, and storms out of the showroom. Well you take that one experience over the years of research and averages. I have fallen into this trap. I would be about to purchase something online after doing research, skim the reviews, and even though out of 5000 reviews there is like 5 bad reviews, I read one of the bad ones and don’t order it. I should know better, my brain though just outsmarts itself.

All I can say is understand your risk, know the percentages but do what you are comfortable with. There are times I bought something I liked even though it was not the most reliable etc. (my Dodge Durango) and was fine, sometimes I did get bitten (cheap iphone cables.) But I will choose to exercise, eat healthy (not super strict but good enough) and hopefully I will live as long time.

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain, I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket, my intention is to keep it free.  I do read all feedback, I mostly wont post any of them

This Blog is a labor of love, and was originally going to be a book.  With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web I chose this path.  I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content.  I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip.  I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog.

Yesterday met up with someone I mentor, and in the conversation found out that a goal they shot for had passed by. So instead of continuing to shoot for it they choose to go in another direction. The goal they wanted was not unreachable, was not gone but wasnt on the “right schedule.” Those who know me know I quote movies and TV shows mostly for humorous situations. This time quoting Cheers (yes cheers) where Robin Colcurt was talking to Sam as Sam was about to buy another bar not cheers. He asked “is this what our really want…” To which Sam replied “I don’t want to buy that crappy bar… I want to buy this crappy bar…” – Its funny as you watch people as the light bulb goes off…. Goals are a wonderful thing, you need to have one and shoot for it, some days you take a step forward a step backwards, even a step sideways… But wake up the next day and try to take the step forward. Its something then I had to repeat to Ariel last night.. You can redo yesterday, but you make tomorrow one step closer..

Please note I wrote this in 2014, but never posted it, it stayed in draft. But thought I would release it as there really is nothing I need to add to it..

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain, I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket, my intention is to keep it free.  I do read all feedback, I mostly wont post any of them

This Blog is a labor of love, and was originally going to be a book.  With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web I chose this path.  I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content.  I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip.  I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog.

I have a management philosophy that has served me well. It really is the joining of some things I have been taught.

First is assessing the strengths and weaknesses of your report. This is not often hard to do, but you need to figure out shortly. Reach out to other member on the team, users, clients, others. But assess yourself. I cannot be more clear, sometimes people make an impression of a skill, and if it is bad, that assessment remains. In many cases also perception is reality, so make sure you observe (don’t take the easy way out.) Once you have your observations you can start to assemble what you need to do.

Second I chose the area where the person has freedom. In my field I strongly believe that developers, development leads etc. like to have freedom to create and do. There of course is the “walls” of your firm/division group. In technology the walls can be programming language, infrastructure, libraries, user interface destination etc. But knowing the walls, and allowing freedom to be creative within the walls is the key. This freedom is only in places they have earned, or shown competence that they can do. If someone is not good at something, don’t give them the freedom you will need to teach them.

The third is teaching. Often there are people who report to you, and they have a deficiency in one or more areas. As a manager your role is to get them to improve and make it into a strength. There are a few ways to do this, telling them and saying “go ahead” and make a plan. This can be useful, but what if one of the weaknesses is not a self starter, what if it is a skill that is not easy to find how to do. You also need to put the person in a situation where you or another person demonstrates that skill so they can watch you (or another in action) the meet and discuss how that skill worked. Next put that person in a situation where they need to demonstrate the skill while you (or someone else observes.). If needed intervene (if its going awry) or let it go, but then have a conversation of how it went. This micromanaging of on skill is useful to get that skill better.

As the employees skill improve they earn more freedom (hence the term earned freedom.) The goal is really for them to have full freedom to do their job. My opinion is that you cannot scale if you try to micromanage everyone and if you give everyone too many freedoms it will be more of a wild west scene. Success is when your employees understand their freedom and can be hand held thru their weaknesses. Funny in a discussion just the other day I even asked my boss for a coach in a specific area where I am seen as good at, but I think I can be better. But getting better is what is life and this blog is about.

Earned Freedom within the walls, this is how I manage. It has served me well for a long time, and I am sure I will change or alter it as I learn more.

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain, I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket, my intention is to keep it free.  I do read all feedback, I mostly wont post any of them.